Did you know that since the beginning of time, there have been over 106 billion people that have lived on this planet? Over 106 BILLION! I was recently asked to write about the one person or list of people - out of those 106 billion people - that I would want to meet. Seriously?
The list of possibilities really is endless. Narrowing it down to the 7.2 billion people living today doesn’t really do much for cutting the number down to a reasonable quantity.
Growing up in Wheaton and the child of a radio station manager, I had countless opportunities to meet Contemporary Christian musical artists like Sheila Walsh, Twila Paris, White Heart, the Imperials, Steve Camp, Rich Mullins, and even have deep dish pizza at Giordano’s with Al Denson. So I can check them all off the list.
I mean seriously, there are so many people I can’t even name them all. There are heads of state like the President of the United States (really like to give him a piece of my mind) and certain members of the Royal family. There are actors that I have highly respected for years like Sean Connery, Matthew McConaughey, Allison Janney, Mark Harmon, Mariska Hargitay, Randolph Mantooth, and Melissa Gilbert. How I wouldn't want to spend a hour or so with each one of them.
Then there are those in the transgender community that I might as well say I would be way too awestruck and speechless to meet. People like Leverne Cox, Janet Mock, Jennifer Boylan and Renee Richards would reduce me to a quivering mass of Jell-O and I probably couldn't put two intelligent thoughts together in their presence.
When talking about people that I really want to meet face to face, I cannot forget those friends that I only know by an avatar and private messages in social media. People spread around the world that I have grown to know as well as the friends I grew up with. There is Debi and Lisa in Kansas, Gretchen in California, Katie in Pennsylvania, Sabrina and Briana down south, Bobbie, Melissa and Diana in Colorado, Kayla in New Zealand, and many MANY more! It would take a lifetime to visit each and every one of them - but if I ever have the chance I will certainly do my best to give each one of them a great big hug.
But as long as my list is, I am very content that I may never have a chance to even shake hands with them. Our friendship is not dependant on a physical presence or a close locale - our friendship reaches beyond the computer screen, beyond borders and distances.
I know the long list of actors I would like to meet is more fiction than reality and I am okay with that. I’m okay with relinquishing myself to only seeing them on the big or small screen. My mini obsession with Matthew McConaughey will just have to be feed with more car commercials.
But there is one person - one person that ranks number one on my list. There is one person that my eagerness to meet runs deeply through every fiber of my being. Until I meet her, I will never feel totally complete and these days I feel I may never have the chance to meet her. Due to limited financial resources and horrible credit - the dream of ever finishing my transition seems to slip away every day and with it the chance to meet this one person.
Who is this person you may ask, well her name is Dr. Marci Bowers. She is a board certified Ob-Gyn and surgeon in the Bay Area of California and at the very top of my very short list of doctors I want to perform the corrective genital surgery.
Dr. Bowers has been at the top of my list for some time. Not only did she work with Dr. Stanley Biber, renowned expert in the field of male to female transitional surgeries, but Dr. Bowers is a trans woman herself. She understands more than most doctors in her field about what a trans woman goes through. Her experience, compassion and understanding weighed heavily on my decision to want her to do my surgery.
I would have traveled anywhere in the United States to have her as my surgeon, but when she moved her practice from Trinidad, Colorado to Burlingame, California, I knew it was meant to be. In 1969, I was born at Mills Memorial Hospital in San Mateo, California - just down the Bay from San Fransisco . In 1985, Mills Memorial and Peninsula Hospital merged and became the present day Mills-Peninsula Medical Center. When I found out that Dr. Bowers was now practicing there, I saw it only fitting that I could finish my transition close to the place where I was born and at essentially the same hospital.
But I may just have quell my eagerness and put this dream on the back burner if not forget it all together. The dream of meeting Dr. Bowers and having her finalizing my transition may be just that - a dream and a pipe smoke dream at that. It seems just too far away and I fear that this dream will never be realized. And I will say that trusting God in this matter has been just as difficult as trusting Him for all those years when I was living as a male.
I know full well that not having the surgery doesn’t make me any less of a woman - being a woman is who you are inside. But for me - meeting Dr. Bowers and having her perform the surgery is the last step to me finally feeling correct with the person God created on the inside.
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