Tough Love – a letter to my younger self

Dear Mark,

Pardon me, but I think you need some tough love and I need to be blunt and extremely honest.  Life at 18 may seem tough, but you haven’t seen anything yet.  Your life is going to be a roller coaster of emotions and experiences.  Some good, some great and some are going to suck beyond all words and will leave you in a whimpering heap on the floor.

I know there aren’t many people in your life right now that you trust.  I know that you feel like you need to hide who you are.  But you won’t be able to be the person God has destined for you to be unless you ride that roller coaster.

Life can suck, plain and simple.  But the trick to getting through it is, even though life can suck, don’t let it suck the life out of you.

You will have some great and amazing experiences in the coming years.  You know some of the dreams we have had since we were little, they are going to become reality.  You are going to have the opportunity to save lives.  You’re going to have the chance to see the world.  You are going to have two of the most amazing kids you could ever imagine.

So in those times you want to throw in the towel and feel like you need to fall off the face of the earth – DON’T. Put the jar of pills away and keep hanging on.

If I can only give you one piece of wisdom from experiencing what life has thrown at us, never ever let the Bible out of your sight.  Keep reading. Keep asking those questions.  Keep learning.  Don’t turn your eyes away from God.  When it seems like everyone is turning from you, He is our rock and He will be there with you every step of the way.

I’m not going to sugar coat the future.  There are going to be times that just seem like the world is closing in on you and trying every way possible to crush you.  Find those you can trust, really trust – I mean with your life kind of trust.  I mean you're carrying the body and they're carrying the shovel kind of trust.  They are going to be the shoulder you need to cry on.  They will be the people that, though they may not understand everything, will fight for you until the end.

The friends that will give you the hug when you need it are great.  But find those friends that will give you the kick in the pants – those are the friends that you never want to let go. Trusting in people is tough, not going to sugar coat that either cause I would be lying if I said that people aren’t going to stab you in the back.  But keep trusting anyways.

Life may be a roller coaster, but keeping riding it.  God is going to provide those people you need so that you can keep hang on when that roller coaster gets to those really scary parts.  They are a true gift and don't you ever forget it.

And remember, God is in control of the ride – he’s not going to let you fall off.


With all God’s Love

Your older and somewhat wiser self,


P.S.  I like the name you picked for us!


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    Meggan Sommerville

    Meggan Sommerville is a Christian transgender woman with a heart for educating others about the transgender community and her faith in her Savior, Jesus Christ. Her career life has taken her on a variety of adventures, from being a veterinary technician in the Western burbs of Chicago to being an EMT/Paramedic, EMS instructor, and a paid on call firefighter for Bolingbrook , Illinois. Since 1998, she has been the frame shop manager for a national craft retailer. You can contact Meggan via email at or find her on Facebook at Trans Girl at the Cross

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