If you haven’t walked a mile in my shoes then sit down and shut up

I don’t normally go on rants.  I try my best to keep a cool head and be the voice of reason, love and understanding. But even Christ showed his anger in the Temple when he turned over the tables of the moneychangers.

Some of the events in the world lately have gotten under my skin, and I really can’t keep my mouth shut anymore about what I am seeing and hearing.  The only apology I will make is if this seems a bit more disjointed than my usually posts – it’s more a stream of thought.  So if you’re ready; sit down, shut up and listen.


There are way too many opinions in the world today, too many people throwing around their two cents.  What there isn’t enough of are people taking the time to listen.  What there isn’t enough of are people taking the time to shut their traps.

One of the prime examples that ignited me was with the recent viral blog post by Kim Hall, “FYI (if you're a teenage girl)" and the response to it.  So many comments left on the blog post and other places that came from people who should have stopped and actually read what Mrs. Hall had to say, both in the post and her responses to the many comments.

People were quick to judge and even quicker to offer up their own opinions.

Now I’m not saying that you are not allowed your opinion.  What I am saying is that if you don’t have teen children, if you have not had to struggle to help them navigate the ever expanding world around them, if you have never had to teach then the pitfalls that they can so easily fall into – then sit down and shut up.

To add to that point, when it comes to any sort of child rearing advice, unless you have stayed up all night pacing the halls with a crying baby, held the hand of a puking child, or cradled a sick infant – sit down and shut up.

If you haven’t survived on 2 hours of sleep a day, changed a diaper with one eye open and can make formula bottles in your sleep – then sit down and shut up.

With the school policies about transgender students that have made the headlines in recent months, if you haven’t walked a mile in my shoes, waken up nearly everyday of your life and seen a body that doesn’t match who you are inside or had your own child come to you and tell you that they are not the gender that they were assigned at birth – then sit down and shut up.

Until you have faced discrimination based on who you love, the gender you express, the color of your skin, the God you worship – sit down and shut up.

Opinions are great to have.  There is no way on God’s green earth that we will ever be all of one mind – God didn’t create us that way.  But when people start opening up their mouths and offering up opinions or advice that doesn’t come from experience, then it is just meaningless chatter.

Just last week, my marriage of 19 years, 2 months, 15 days and about 20 minutes ended with the stroke of the judge’s pen.  With the hurricane of emotions that have surrounded me for the past few year as I faced this impending landmark of my life, there were opinions offered up and advice given that came from every direction.  Most came from those that have never experienced a divorce.

The voices I wanted to hear from where the ones I knew had experienced the pain, the confusion, the disjointed reality.  I highly respect those of my friends that did not offer up their opinions, but simply offered an ear to listen to me spill my troubles.  That is what the world needs more of.

No matter the topic, no matter the emotions that run through it, if you have an educated or experienced opinion – I will be glad to hear it.  If you have nothing more than meaningless chatter – sit down and shut up.


If you would like to follow me, you can find me on Facebook at Trans Girl at the Cross and at Twitter @Megganrenee

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    Meggan Sommerville

    Meggan Sommerville is a Christian transgender woman with a heart for educating others about the transgender community and her faith in her Savior, Jesus Christ. Her career life has taken her on a variety of adventures, from being a veterinary technician in the Western burbs of Chicago to being an EMT/Paramedic, EMS instructor, and a paid on call firefighter for Bolingbrook , Illinois. Since 1998, she has been the frame shop manager for a national craft retailer. You can contact Meggan via email at Meg.Sommerville@aol.com or find her on Facebook at Trans Girl at the Cross

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