5 "National Holidays" That No One Is Celebrating, But Me

So many "National Holidays" so little time. 9 days out of 10, my Facebook newsfeed is telling me that it's time to tip up our cup and throw our hands up about SOMETHING. And I'm not just talking about the heavy hitter holidays that you might actually get the day off work for. There are a plethora of "holidays" like "National Safety Pin" and "National Baby Massage Day" (what in the actual fuck?) that you guys are probably missing the boat on.

It seems we will celebrate just about anything. Today is National Siblings Day! A day I fully support because I have siblings that I love and adore, so cheers to THAT!


I think it's only fitting that you all fully understand the complexity that goes into my selection of which of these "holidays" I'm going to choose to partake. With choices like "National Cheese Fondue Day" LIFE IS HARD!

Here are some things that *I* choose to celebrate-

1. National 'Accidentally Dried My Jeans And I Was Still Able To Get Them Up Over My Fat Ass' Day-We can all this NADMJAIWSATGTUOMAD for short. There is an art to making my way back into my beloved Old Navy denim. A bit of a dance, if you will. If I am able to zip and button them, that undoubtedly should be celebrated.

2. National 'I Know I Forgot My Kid's Backpack But They Are Here, On Time, Fed, and Dressed-So Let's Just Call That A Win" Day- I sometimes feel like I've cheated my kids out of some picture perfect life when I am dropping them off at school.  My crew doesn't have adorable little umbrellas and matching galoshes to sport during a torrential spring rain storm. They actually have no proper rain attire at all. They have hoods and the ability to run to the car, that's just going to have to be enough....mmmmmkkkaaaaayyy?

3. National 'I Made A Meal That All 5 Of My Family Members Ate And Liked' Day- That hasn't actually happened to me yet, but when it does...this bitch will be popping the top on some Champs. Believe it.

4. National 'I Had 2 Minutes In The Bathroom ALONE' Day- If you follow my Facebook page (GO DO IT, I'll wait) you already know this has also...never happened to me. Dreams are free.

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5. National 'My Husband Actually Changed Out the Roll Of Toilet Paper' Day- Oh you KNOW this is something worth celebrating. I believe that celebration kicks off with pigs flying or a fat lady singing. You know the drill.

All in all life is FULL of reasons to celebrate and hopefully you don't have to look very far to find the good in your day, but if you struggle to find something celebration worthy-just Google "National Holidays" and let the Interwebz be your guide.

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