Top 10 Things NOT to Miss About Summer

It's that time of year again folks! The school supply aisle looks less like a Black Friday stampede and more like the shelves the week before Y2K. The kids are all dressed to the nines in their fresh back to school duds and your Facebook newsfeed is engulfed in First Day Of Whateverthehellgradeyourkidisin pics!

And if you are really quiet, you can almost hear the pitter patter of little Mom feet as they scurry through Target....alone. What a glorious time of year! Christmas has nothing on back to school week (ignore the fact that I told you all I was crying last week, ok?)!!!!

Back to school also marks the end of summer and the beginning of all things pumpkin and football-which to the laymen can be referred to as "fall".

I felt it was important to touch on the Top 10 Things That Suck About Summer-BUH BYE BATHING SUIT SEASON!!!!

10. The Park- Before you freak, hear me out. I like the park (sometimes). I like the kids having a place to run around. I like meeting other moms and having my kids meet other kids. Yadda yadda yadda. There are just a few things I won't miss about the park. Sand (natures litter box). Scorching hot equipment. That damn fire pole scares the crap out of me. Having to push one kid on the swings, while another is dive bombing off the monkey bars, and another has to pee. See? The park isn't all it's cracked up to be.

9. The Pool- I mean really? We've gone over this-I don't like being in a bathing suit. Then you read ONE story about dry drowning and that place becomes a mom's worst nightmare (just me? ok). It's really hard to coral 3 kids with varying swim skills in one area (preferably the one where the water comes up to my knees, see exhibit A, B, and C). I don't like going places where I can't safely secure my gut into my mom jeans, OK?!

8. Sunscreen-I mean it's Necessary, but so much work.

7. Bathing the kids nightly- Have you ever tried to catch 3 greased pigs...everyday....for 3 months? (technically I haven't either but bath time at our house is seemingly equivocal)

6. My Beer and BBQ Gut- I mean I'll probably be lugging this badge of dishonor around until next summer (let's be honest) but damn you Summer Shandy and BBQ Food, why you gotta be so good?!

5. My Husband suggesting that we go camping- It happens every year and every year I laugh right in his face. NOPE!

4. Mosquitoes, ticks, spiders- Is it winter yet?

3. Boob Sweat- I don't even have boobs but this just sounds annoying and I don't like to sweat.

2. Humidity- (self explanatory)

All that being said...

The #1 worst part of summer is that it's gone in the blink of an eye....

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