Parenthood is just one of those things you can't really wrap your mind around. You just have to see it, to believe it-kinda like Big Foot or a woman leaving labor and delivery in her pre-pregnancy jeans.
I know a lot of people, myself included, that made a lot of claims before they were faced with the reality of a parenting situation. I will never give my kid a pacifier-yeah...call me when your nipples are torn up and the only alternative to 'no pacifier' is 'you're the pacifier'. I will never let my kid cry it out-you might not have a choice when little Junior is kid #3 and kids #1 /#2 need their asses wiped, to be fed, juice filled, head scratched, stuffed animal sewn. There may come a time when you turn around and little Junior is snoozing away after an inadvertent cry it out session. Happiest Baby On The What Whaaaaaaattttt?
Never say never, folks.
This "never" that I speak of, tends to coincide with a lot of misconceptions.
Debunk? Don't mind if I do!
1. Breastfeeding will just come naturally- Some of you love it. Some of you hate it. Some of you pump. Some of your kids will never take a bottle. Some of you work full-time. Some of you are home full-time. Some of your kids will have reflux. Some will be colicky. Some of you will make too much milk. Some of you won't make enough. Some of you will be scared to nurse in public. Some of you will breastfeed your 6 year old, right in the middle of Target. Regardless, BREASTFEEDING IS HARD-anyone that tells you otherwise is lying right to your face. Or they are Big Foot.
2. I won't yell- Oh. Ok. Let's see how you handle the pressure of little Timmy darting off in a parking lot, while you are lugging baby Johnny, his toddler sister Susie, pushing a cart of groceries, under the weight of a diaper bag. Ummmmhmmmmm...yeah.
3. I will severely limit screen time- Move to Chicago (Chiberia) this winter, then talk to me. I'm fairly certain the ABC in abcmouse.com stands for- AWESOME BACKUP CREATION.
4. I need an expensive food processor to make baby food- This ranks right up there with the ever-obnoxious baby registry gift the wipe warmer. No. Just no. Baby food is nothing a steamer, a blender, or perhaps a trip to the baby food section at Target -can't handle.
5. I can't live with no sleep- Yes you can and you will. I am a firm believer that is what your 20's are for- to condition you to be a functioning human off a wink of sleep and some caffeine. Buck up, champ! You used to have 2 jobs, be a full-time college student, and party til the break of dawn...you got this! Sidenote: I love you Dunkin Donuts.
6. Everyone lets themselves go, after kids-FALSE. I do think it's a good idea to step out from behind those yoga pants and hooded sweatshirts
in July every now and then. If you look good, maybe you will feel good, and if you feel good you might find yourself with some post-baby pep in your step! Covering post baby jiggle is what they invented the Maxi-Dress for, isn't it? (That being said, I'm currently wearing yoga pants. Rome wasn't built in a day).
7. My other relationships don't need as much attention as my kids- I've totally been guilty of this. It's very easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day grind of life. We are all so "busy" (I hate that word) and we put people we love on the back burner -under the assumption that they will be there when the dust settles. The truth of matter is, the dust probably won't settle. There will always be something. The key is to prioritize. I was a wife, sister, daughter, friend, etc. LONG before I was a mother...those people deserve my love and attention, too (even if they get a half-assed version of me in my yoga pants).
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