An Old Maid becomes a Bridesmaid

One of the most exciting times in life is being newly engaged! Everyone is enamored with your new piece of hardware as you sing the praises of how the love of your life asked you to be his/hers in the most magical way. You bask in the glory of oooohhhhhh's and ahhhhhh's as even strangers fawn all over your every word. Glorious.

I've been there, done that...now I'm just a wife. I swear the moment you get that second ring, all the novelty wears off. Engagement ring? You are the cat's meow but dare to add a wedding band and you become yesterday's news. Eh, well...it was fun while it lasted.

My newly engaged sister gets to be the well-deserved center of attention and I couldn't be happier for her. She even asked me to be her Matron of Honor and gave me my very own bottle of wine!!! Psssshhhh, is there anything more perfect for a mother of three? I think no.

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Cutest bottle of wine I've ever wanted to chug!

This is going to be so much fun! I get to be front and center and overly involved in planning a wedding-minus the stress and financial burden??? Now that's my kind of party!!! Sorry, Sissy.

There's just one problem. I forgot how to be a bridesmaid.

Don't get me wrong, I've donned a bridesmaid dress (or 14) but it's been awhile and I'm rusty.  Not to mention, I have yet to offer my services as a of Matron of Honor. That's a big deal! Lot's of responsibility!

Fluff your dress? Not a problem. Hold your flowers? Aye Aye Captain. Give a speech? Got that in the bag.

Problemo #2:  I DON'T KNOW HOW TO THROW A BACHLORETTE PARTY!!! 

I have three kids. They are young. I don't get out much. I'm rusty.

Other possible adjectives: OLD, BORING, FUDDY DUDDY, GRANNY, DENTURES, OUT OF THE LOOP, SENIOR CITIZEN IN TRAINING, OVER THE HILL, PAST MY PRIME, CAN'T HOLD LIQUOR, Etc.

My idea of a good time probably doesn't align with that of single 20 somethings, huh? My options include: Having all the gals over for some tea and People Magazine reading? Watch a marathon of Real Housewives of whatever? Pillow fight? Cross stitch something?

I don't know. See? I'm hopeless.

I can't look anything up on Pinterest or I'm going to be forced to take a flock of girls to Napa for a weekend of luxurious spa treatments, while doing yoga on a cliff over looking a valley of grape fields, and hiring a driver to take us along the countryside for endless wine tastings, aren't I?

Thank goodness I have a few months to up my cool factor (hopefully).

I am opening this up to you fine folks! What say you? Any ideas how to guarantee I go down in history as the baddest ass Matron of Honor in the history of all Matrons of Honor? Let's start with a title that doesn't include the word "matron"...shall we?

Leave a comment below or visit my Facebook page with your ideas for throwing the most kick ass girl party of all time! Or save my sister from a night that ends by 8:30 pm. Potato/potahto.

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