Archive for June 2014

There's no crying in baseball (unless you're me or my Mom)

I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard your mama lay the good ol’ curse of  I hope someday you have a child that does to you, what you’ve done to me.   Lord knows I have. And guess what? She’s sitting right next to me chomping on some potato chips…loudly. *Cringe* LOVE YOU. Dreams of your... Read more »

Children: They aren't great for your Self-Esteem

Children are good for a lot of things. The moment you first lay eyes on your baby is unlike any experience you’ve ever known. Their first smile. You will be reduced to a floppy shell of your former existence. Their first steps. The moment they first ride a bike. Hell, the first time they poop on... Read more »

An Old Maid becomes a Bridesmaid

One of the most exciting times in life is being newly engaged! Everyone is enamored with your new piece of hardware as you sing the praises of how the love of your life asked you to be his/hers in the most magical way. You bask in the glory of oooohhhhhh’s and ahhhhhh’s as even strangers... Read more »

Me vs. The 5k

From time to time I come up with a brilliant scheme so magical that one might question why I haven’t retired to the beaches of Fiji -where I can compose my innermost thoughts on the beach as my pool boy fans me in my swim parka. That shit gets hot, yo. The truth of the... Read more »

The Truth is, Parents Lie (part 2)

You’re having a baby!!! Now what? Jump for joy, call the doctor, tell your family/close friends-then threaten their lives if they tell a single soul before the 12 week mark they will. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: I feel it is my civic duty to keep you all informed about... Read more »