"Honesty is the best policy" is sage advice, that goes without saying. Why is it that the second we become parents this little saying goes right out the window? I'm not referring to the big dogs like: rhymes with Oh mylanta and the keester funny *shhhhhhhhhh, can they hear me type this?*
Those ones I don't feel bad about. We all do it and it keeps their little lives innocent and magical, something we all want for our kiddos. It's all the other times I fabricate a story or stretch the truth, that make me start to question myself.
I value honesty, in fact I pride myself in being a bit of a truth spewer. It's probably something most people like/ loathe about me.
So, why do I lie all day long to my kids?
Them- "can we go to the park?"
Me- "oh man I wish we could but the school kids are there so we can't go right now"
Reality-It's 10:30 in the morning, I have no idea what the recess schedule is, and the nearest park isn't even associated with school aged kids. And, I'm trying to write a damn blog people!
Why can't I just say "I have some work to do" or something? The truth is (see? I am honest) they will keep asking me if I'm almost done with my work. Or ask me if we can go for a bit and I do my work later. I HAVE TO STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT KIDS, MAMA IS ON A ROLL. My little truth distortion allows me a few minutes to sit, write, thus publicly admitting that I'm a lying jerk.
The good news is, I know some of you reading this are masters of misrepresentation, too. Which makes me feel much less like a liar liar pants on fire and more like a mom just trying to survive the barrage of questions that will ensue if I don't tell them something that will get me off the hook.
"you'll be cross-eyed if you sit too close to the TV"
"your face will freeze that way"
"it's French chicken"
See? Our parents did it too. I guess it's just the name of the parenting game. The problem is that I'm only 5 years into this gig and I really have no idea when my fables will start to catch up with me.
I *was* just called out for having the same marshmallows in the cabinet that the Easter Bunny put in their plastic eggs "noooooo, I just bought the same ones".
My thought is my days are severely numbered. Damn it. *puts on coat and takes kids to the park* Recess is over.
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