Archive for December 2013

How to weigh less in the New Year

With 2013 rapidly coming to an end (literally there is like 11 hours left!) I decided to spend a few minutes reflecting on what 2013 has meant for me. Lucky you, right? I’m not usually down for the whole “dear diary” style posts, but if ever there is a day that it’s socially acceptable, today... Read more »

What I Resolve NOT to Change in 2014

Well we did it! We survived another Christmas season! I have officially climbed out of the sea of wrapping paper and those rat bastard toy boxes that you need the jaws of life to open. The Elf On The Shelf’s creepy ass has returned to the North Pole, leaving me with 11.5 months of sweet... Read more »

Status Quo

Today started out just like any other: some kid peed their bed, one won’t get out of bed for school on time, I broke a sweat getting these little ones dressed/teeth brushed/socks matched/backpacks filled/cold weather prepped,  I ended up feeding them a ziplock baggies of donuts on the road (mother of the year), I got... Read more »
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10 things this Mom really wants for Christmas

With Christmas right around the corner, I’m sure you are all scurrying to find the perfect gift for the lady that gave you life. So I will share my Christmas List in the hopes you can find some gift giving inspiration. 10. To shower without an audience, of any age. 9. One day to wake... Read more »

The Mom Guilt Plague

Sometimes 3 year old girls waltz around in their baby brother's 18 month pants.
It’s no secret there is one thing that plagues every mother on the planet, Mom Guilt. All day, every day, there is ultimately something we can (and will) beat ourselves up about. Today alone, I managed to make myself feel like shit about the following: *I forgot my Middle Dude’s backpack and I forced him to be... Read more »

I Survived My Unfortunate Haircut

If you follow me on Facebook (if you don’t, you can click here) then you know I’m in the throes of a three day cleanse. Just a little something to keep me accountable in between the holidays (which is what the people that roped me into this, want me to think). The reality of the situation is that... Read more »
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Damned if you do, Damned if you don't

Yesterday, I wished someone a “happy holiday” and I was told to “cut the shit, it’s ‘Merry Christmas’ “. Yet, I’m fairly certain if wished the wrong person a Merry Christmas, it might have also been considered offensive. So this got me thinking: What are we supposed to do when we live in a damned if we do/damned... Read more »

Life Saving Tips For Keeping Your Manhood Intact

When I set out on this journey to publically humiliate myself, I really had no idea that I would ever have a male following. Let alone a following of unmarried men, with no kids (that they know of). I find myself being majorly humbled that ANY guy would even find this entertaining, let alone take a moment to... Read more »