Ah, yes. That's the Alsip I remember.
If you're keeping score, near-southern Chicago suburb Alsip, IL last made the papers in a cemetary scandal that involved recycling grave plots in the resting place of Emmitt Till.
Before that, it was a father-son tandem jumping onto the field at Comiskey Park (do NOT correct me) to beat the crap out of a Kansas City base coach. I don't remember who won the game.
Alsip isn't an altogether bad place with it's really good park district and star spangled watertower* decorating the sky above I-294. But when it comes to news coverage, Alsip is basically Cicero without the glamour.
And now, it's a man convicted in what's being called a "noose-attack". Have you ever heard of a "noose-attack" before? Where I come from, they call that attempted murder. Or at least I thought so. Because I come from Alsip. What would you call this?
Prosecutors said Herrmann, then 18, and two friends, both juveniles, were upset with Merritt's son, Joshua, then 17, because of his friendship with one of the boys' female cousins. The three put a noose around his neck and hurled racial epithets at him, but Merritt was able to run outside, authorities said. One of the boys, then 16, held a knife to his throat and threatened to kill him, according to the charges.
I could've been that kid. A couple times I almost was. So, if Joshua and the Merritt family happen to be reading this my message is simple. Josh - it gets better.
Meanwhile in Connecticut...
A homeless woman in Connecticut was convicted of grand larceny and sentenced to 5 years for enrolling her child in school supposedly using her babysitter's address. Now, how a woman with no permanent address hires a babysitter I don't know. But let's just recap the day: Enrolling your kid in school is 5 years while threatening someone's life is 500 words. But here I'm speculating since I have no idea how long an essay was mandated.
As my friend Dion likes to say, "Just another day in post-racial America".
*Article has been updated to correct the glaring omission of the I-294 watertower which must by statute accompany any public mention of Alsip, IL.
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