Stealth Grooming Tip: Combatting Smoky Garlic Hands

Stealth Grooming Tip: Combatting Smoky Garlic Hands
For her, I would wash my hands in anything.

Years ago when I used to smoke occasionally --something I blame in part on my past roommate and a few too many glasses of wine-- I would get stick from my then-girlfriend.

Avery* was a bit demanding but totally worth it. I could best describe her as looking like Uma Thurman with red hair and freckles, plus curves like Christina Hendricks. She was gorgeous, actually. And I didn't really mind that every time I walked with her in public that men's heads turned from across the street, sometimes hundreds of feet away. Still, Avery was particular about some things.

So there was that one time I came over and she would not kiss me. I had had a puff of a smoke a couple of hours before, but had brushed up, taken a shower and done everything you would do before a date or cuddle-up on the sofa. Turns out she smelled the tobacco burn on my fingers, albeit a scant scent.


After cooking, consider washing your hands with toothpaste. Sounds weird, but it works.

I don't ponce a smoke anymore or even have an occasional drag, and haven't in years. I don't even smoke cigars at weddings. But the thought of it took me back to an old trick I picked up (or perhaps accidentally invented) to hide the evidence.

That trick: a quick hand wash with toothpaste.

There are better applications for this tip. Let's say you're cooking dinner for a lady friend, assuming that you can cook in the first place. And since you know how to cook and have good taste, you know that cooking --whether it's Italian, grilling steak or fish, or even your own facsimile of homemade Thai-- must include garlic and possibly onions too.

If you've done your duty making a knockout meal over great conversation you are likely to get your rewards.

Sure this trick may sound "weird", but it works. Then again, it's not like you have to announce "Excuse me honey, I have to go wash my hands with toothpaste. Be right back!" Just do it.

Or perhaps you and your love would rather experience together that seductive, charming smell of garlic on your mitts. Your call.


Pallenburg knows the dual good/evil of garlic and acts accordingly. You can follow him on Twitter at @WomanizerThinkr.

*Name altered for obvious reasons.

Filed under: Advice, Grooming

Tags: cooking, garlic, men who cook

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  • I thought is was about where Dollywood is.

    For that matter, is she suggesting cleaning your teeth with hand sanitizer? Teens drink it.

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