There's a six pound bag of gummy bears on the meeting table in the center of my office.
Strike that. There WAS a six pound bag of gummy bears on the meeting table in the center of my office. By my estimation, there's actually closer to three pounds left of the multi-colored grizzlies. According to the color theory class I took in college, each color represents some sort of emotion, or something along those lines. This Friday, each color is representing "boredom." Actually, it's closer to "I'd rather be somewhere else," but that's not exactly an emotion.
The place I'd rather be is, of course, the place I'll be in a few short hours - consuming beers and sausages with two of my favorite people on the planet. After that, on to a spelling bee, where I will cheer loudly as my friend spells words like phosphorescent, monosodium glutamate, and antidisestablishmentarianism.
What, these aren't what "normal" girls do on a Friday night? Maybe not, but they're certainly what I daydream about as I stare at my screens, trying to see if today is the day that I officially achieve technopathy and my work will be done as if by magic.
Normal girls will don high heels and sparkly dresses for their night on the town; I'm hoping my puffy vest will be warm enough as we sit on a rooftop consuming encased meats. So we're not exactly "normal" girls, but I wouldn't trade the company for all the glitter in the world.
Who decided those rules, anyway? Charlie Sheen? Is he even still popular? I should look him up on Google, see what he's up to these days. Or better yet, I won't, and I'll imagine him belly up in a mound of cocaine. Maybe I'll draw that! That's far more interesting than the actual work I have to get done.
Wait. Where was I again? Oh, right. There I go again. Daydreaming when I should be working as a model employee.
I think it's time to get back to reality - and to those gummy bears.
About the author: Adrienne Canzolino manipulates pixels at a publishing firm. Her brick-and-mortar home is Andersonville; her online home is @anti_robots.