I'll admit that although I am not a committed Taylor Swift fan, there are a couple of truths I won't ignore: (1) some of her music is pretty darn catchy and it's so easy to get stuck in your head and (2) she's so present in pop culture that it's hard NOT to follow her. She's a magnet for press, largely in part due to her very public love life.
That all said, it's no secret that the pop princess has broken up with her latest beau, Tom Hiddleston (who we know as the Hate-To-Love Loki from the Thor franchise). Like all of her break-ups, the news spread quickly and as I imagine, at least half of the stories we heard were cleverly managed by a super fierce PR team. However, this time around, I care little about the actual story and who did this to who (Does anyone really care about the 'true' story, really?) No, my reason for writing this is a lot more simple than that: I find that in reading and following the ins and outs of her relationships, I've been reminded of some pretty clear do's and don'ts when it comes to dating... And I'm, in part, thanking TSwift herself for reminding me how important these are:
- (Lesson #1) Do bow out soon as it's not working and be graceful about it: I have no idea what has factored into every break up. But Taylor has become quite skilled at, as soon as it's not working, making sure she not only publicly wraps up a relationship, but telling a story quickly to wrap it all up. She's done this for every single break up, even Calvin Harris, although they guy won't stop talking about it. (OK, granted, it was likely timely when he did his interview with the UK edition of GQ, but still...) So, for those of us who aren't Taylor Swift, the takeaway is simply this: if the signs show it's not working and you feel it isn't, then do yourself a favor. Bow out, don't be sorry and move on.
- (Lesson #2) It's OK to vent, but just pick the best outlet: Taylor's famous for writing about her exes (they've been the inspiration for some of her best hits after all) and at least when it comes to her career, there seems to be a huge payoff. But, not everyone can write a top charting hit to cope. So, workout, hang out, write in a journal.. Channel your frustration into the best avenue for you. Unless you have a chart topper brewing in the back of your mind. Then go for it.
- (Lesson #3) Stay your own person: I'll admit one of the places I think went wrong with Sav is that we became too much a part of each other faster than I'll admit I was comfortable with. Being in love is great, but it didn't mean I need to lose me too. That said, it's been reported that the pop princess has taken to matching outfits with exes Calvin Harris and Tom Hiddleston pretty early into her relationshops. Whether or not these are coincidences (and they COULD be), if by chance they aren't, then while this may seem adorable... This could be... Well, a bit much. So, time together is great. But time apart? Still also critical.
- (Lesson #4) A little healing time doesn't hurt: It's often said the best way to get over someone is to hop into something new. However, not sure if that's always wise. You risk throwing a lot of emotion into the new relationship and potentially imposing your hangups on a new partner. Plus, you undercut your own healing time. Slow down. And do it when you're ready.
- (Lesson #5) Be excited and celebrate it, but it's OK to proceed with caution: Again, being in love is great. (When I was happy with Sav, I was really happy). And when you're happy you want everyone to know that you're happy. After all, there's something joyful about navigating the world with someone and getting a text, call or kiss from someone that makes your heart flutter. That all said, doing it too soon can really just make it look like you just love the idea of love. It's like the boy that cried wolf. Call too many false alarms, no one will believe you when it's finally the real deal. So, taking it slow can be a good thing here.
I have no doubt being in love in the limelight is tough and truthfully, what she's going through isn't any different than any other young woman. However, I will say that it's been easy for me to take away some pretty simple lessons especially when it comes to loving and people around you watching. Plus, these do's and don't are great reminders of how I want falling in love again to be: An exciting, mind-opening experience that inspires me. I would hopefully be accepting of whatever may come, but staying my own person and dealing with it in a way that works for me and my partner.
It's an imperfect process for the most complicated of feelings and emotions. Personally, I'm all for learning every lesson I can... Especially if I can use them as reminders in my own life and for the next go.