So, the last few months have been a whirlwind and with good reason. Mainly because of turning the big 30 (you read right), finding amazing opportunities in my professional "grown up" life and taking real milestones as one half of a relationship. Essentially, I realize that I'm really and truly an adult. And when it comes to relationships... Well, you end up needing to make decisions and situations about your future, what this means for you, etc. Essentially, it's grown up. And since Sav and I are rapidly nearing our two year mark, I realize that I have to acknowledge and approach my love life very differently -- and with that my own very strong opinionated views on the subject.
Ugh. All stuff that makes me cringe, really. Truth is, my professional life I have a pretty strong handle on. But even at a new age, this thing called relationships still feels foreign to me. And being with one person for so long, I realize how often I'm getting asked questions about the status of my relationship, which even I haven't truly defined, and probably won't for a while longer.
But, with all that said, which I HAVE found a little taxing is that even with the joys of having someone, I have still ended up in the most awkward situations and set ups which, while amusing, have also made me think of that really critical question: Where are we headed?
While I can't answer that, I'm learning slowly how to navigate some of the difficult and frustrating scenarios:
- Home For The Holidays: Let me get the obvious OUT of the way. Yes, everyone craves bringing someone home when they're in a relationship. But, now being faced with it, I find it's not quite as easy as I banked on. Mainly because, in my adult life, Christmas was a personal, special and important holiday. And now that I am actively choosing to bring someone home, I am ambushed with all sorts of questions -- including the marriage question. Not something I need during the holiday!
- The Work Party: Family you may not always see everyday. Co-workers are another story. Which means that anyone you bring (especially when you're in a fairly new gig) means that they'll be noticed by the people you work with everyday. We just did this recently. And while Sav is the charmer I know him to be, I agonized every second until I made that decision.
- The Gift Buying: When you're approaching a two year mark, it doesn't feel so casual. Which means the gifts should have more thought and consideration -- meaning another person whom you need to think carefully about in terms of their wants and needs. Fun, huh? Admittedly, Sav and I are casual with each other. But now that I know what Sav has planned for my Christmas gift, it means that I need to take extra TLC (and allow a little more in my budget) in order to reciprocate the thought he put into my gift.(Note: That said, I am very proud of the gifts I've settled on this year!)
While these are situations as old as time, it's this year which has made them much more prominent and real. And while I am still trying to figure out what I want my personal forever to look like, I've become more aware than ever that even when you wish and hope for the companionship of another, you have to take all that comes with the deal -- and be willing to work at it along the way.
I just hope it gets easier in the process. And if anyone has any funny stories or words to share about how they still feel dealing with all these, I'm always interested to learn...