Those darn exes!
If you didn't think you had reason to worry about your main squeeze being captivated by an ex, then it may be a good idea to think again, according to a new Canadian study.
Apparently, an ex can affect your current relationship more than you may realize. And, it works a couple of ways: whether it's romantic thoughts of an old flame or memories of an ex which hinder you from enjoying the present or diving into the past when a current relationship isn't as happy as you'd like it to be.
Why dive into fantasizing about the past? Well, the most logical conclusion -- which scientists also stated -- is that it provides some sense of validation. And it invokes nostalgia. Essentially, it's a feel good. A safety.
Guess you can throw out the theory than an ex can stay in the past. But is that always a bad thing?
Depends on how you think about it. A few things to really think about when it comes to revisiting memory lane:
- Omitting All Of The Past: Yes, it's one thing to think of the good times in an old relationship. But, if you've forgotten the bad altogether, maybe we're talking about a case of the grass being greener on the other side.
- Acting On Your Thoughts: Sure, dream away. But acting on it takes it from just being a memory into a different and much more dangerous territory.
- Fear of The Unpredictable: Yes, memories from an old relationship can be fun sometimes. But are you trying so hard to capture old feelings that you're not open to new feelings or emotions that could feel even better? Plus, how do you experience new things without trying them first?
The reality is that exes are just that: exes. Whether they hurt you, you hurt them, or you both hurt each other, not all couples are meant to have happy endings. But, that said, everyone has a purpose or a meaning for being in your life... Or to make you feel something.
And sometimes, you meet a person that's there for the sole reason of giving you sweet memories. In which case, as long as those memories don't overpower or give you unrealistic expectations. Then you're entitled to a temporary walk down memory lane.
But don't forget about the present. Otherwise, you can miss making sweet memories with the current squeeze you've got by your side.
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