Relationship Lessons: Invest A Little For The Pay-Off

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There's a strange thing about having male friends -- you either know you can never be with them, secretly carry a torch for them or end up being like the best friend who has to talk them through all their crazy drama.

Admittedly, I've experienced all three, in the craziest ways. And lately, I've found that I've been more like a counselor than anything else to one of my pals...

OK, so
there's this dude, Reggie, who I've been close with for a while now. He makes
me laugh, is considerate, and great go-to when I need to be brought back to reality.
And, hearing him talk about women and knowing what I know about him and his
playboy status, there's no way I can ever see him as more than a friend.

 

So imagine
my surprise when the same playboy tells me he's decided to commit to a
relationship. Just like that
(snap) ! It's a girl from his past that he
grew up with and always cared about. And, since connecting over the holidays, he decided that even with the distance of several states between them, they would make this work.

 

It's been
more than a month since they started this long-distance love affair and he
calls often to pick my brain on their relationship, always telling me how much
he cares for her and wants to make this work... But is confused about whether
she's in the same place. And while I try to be as candid as I can be, I also
tell him repeatedly that it BLOWS my mind how quick he was to turn into Mr.
Perfect Boyfriend.

 

As I think
about his situation, it reminds of my own past loves and I remember one little
fact:  
when you want to be with someone, you'll do it. It
isn't labor-intensive. Somehow, it just works. You find yourself
wanting
to work towards making things great, which they can be. (Especially men.
Somehow they're fighters when it comes to the women they love). And, if it
becomes too hard or painful, then maybe it isn't all it's cracked up to be, now
is it? 

 

Further
proof that at least men are willing to sacrifice? A couple of stats that came
my way, courtesy of the folks at
Match.com.



  • Men willing to sacrifice more to be in a
    committed relationship:
     Males between 21- 44 age groups are
    more likely to get into a committed relationship with someone who offers
    everything but whom they are not in love with

Interesting, huh? Indeed,
especially since it's the lady that seems to care more about her own freedom:


  • Women want more independence in their
    relationships than men do:
     Across every age group, women want more
    personal space in a committed relationship, as well as more nights out with
    their (girl) friends; they are also more likely to want their own bank account
    and to take vacations on their own.

Anyway, who knows what's
in store for Reggie? Right now, it seems like a bit of a struggle for trust
where he's at, which is especially crazy in a long-distance relationship. So,
if they can't put the drama aside does it have a chance to last?

 

Curious to see that myself.


Photo Credit: WikiCommons

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  • I like this, it has me thinking. Good piece. I wrote a relationship blog today as well. Congrats on the feature! I also liked your fan page!

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