One of the things I've learned when it comes to matters of the heart is that whether we like it or not, things ultimately happen the way that they're supposed to. Sure, we can think out every move in the hopes that things work in our favor. We could even let the chips fall where they may. But, there is never any guarantee, is there?
That said, it doesn't mean that all hope is lost. On the contrary, it's the unpredictability of relationships that make them all the more worth our while. And it's through all that drama we feel and learn, right? (Insert affirmative nod here)
So, because you never know what hand you'll be dealt, it's not worth it to get wound up for how your relationships play out, good or bad. (A lesson easy to forget!) Truth is, there are some things that happen when you date someone that you should never apologize for. It's how we learn to tell the difference between what's real and what isn't.
And with that, the five things you should never apologize for in dating after the jump...
- Letting Your Guard Down: Oftentimes, when things end with someone, it's easy to kick yourself for being so open and truthful with someone. Suddenly, you're annoyed/disappointed/bummed/frustrated/etc. that you've given someone a peek into you that you feel that they ultimately didn't deserve. But, on the flip side, did it get you to open up a bit? Did it get you to realize that you are able to build a personal connection with someone? All of that is pretty great training for someone that enters your life and matters even more!
- Following Your Instincts: How often have you had a nagging feeling about someone and it turned out to be true? Sure, it may be lousy that you were proven right... But isn't it even more lousy that you didn't trust your instincts? As long as you're not paranoid and going off the deep end, it's OK to run with your instincts. There's a reason we have 'em.
- Ask Questions: This is a lesson I'm coming off of with my recent situation with James. I'd kicked myself senseless freaking out about asking him those "tough" questions. But, by following my instincts (see above), I realized that asking questions was the only way I was going to get the answers I needed. And while there are many ways it could have gone, it was by asking that I could make the informed decision I needed to make for myself.
- Being Honest With Yourself: What can we live with? What is an absolute no-no? Tough questions. But, it's by asking these questions of ourselves and deciding what it is we want that we determine what -- and who -- works for us.
- Trusting The Other Person: What's a relationship without trust? Not a very solid one! So, in order for it to work, you gotta be willing to trust. That means putting past demons aside to let someone in. Should make for a more enjoyable and emotionally valuable relationship, don't you think?
Somethings are worth it -- and this crazy ride we call relationships is one of them. So, start from scratch every time. And never apologize for you.