As a gal that's often had academic and career successes at the top of her mind, I've always had to balance that with having a love life. And there are many times when it's been fine, having exes that have also been very career driven so we kept similar work hours and spent our nights and weekends together. Basically, as long as we had the time, we made it work. Something to do for the moment.
Other times, though -- often because it seems that one of us or both don't care to invest very much -- one of us is too busy for the other, which makes a "relationship" ill-fated before it starts.
However, if and when you find someone you're willing to really be with, then carving out the time doesn't seem like a hassle because suddenly it's a want and not a chore...
Recently, I spent some time polling my friends and other amazing, dynamic women about whether, in their opinion, they believed it was possible to have a successful career and relationship. While their personal experiences varied, one thing was consistent in all of their answers: that, as long as both parties are willing to work for it, give all they can to the relationship, and work with and support each other, then they could have the love and work they wanted.
So, after talking with many ladies, some of whom are married or in long-term relationships, I walked away with some of these insights when it comes whether it's really possible to have a successful relationship without forsaking a career:
Your noun use goes from "I" to "Us": It takes a lot to realize that decisions no longer affect one person. They affect two. So, realizing every decision you make impacts you and your significant other. So in that same way, it's about working together to get through any situation -- which means potential moves, promotions, or work-to-school changes.
Support is the name of the game: Just like you need that TLC, so does your partner. So, date nights or quiet time together seems like a way to reconnect. Being understanding and showing them that you're working with them proves you're not only a lover but a friend.
You have to believe: In order for any relationship to really thrive, it's important that both parties trust in what they have and each other if a relationship is going to last. Things get hard, life takes it toll and work gets demanding, but believing in each other will make it all worth the drama.
The fate of any relationship is determined by the effort of both parties. And, if there's anything I've learned from some of the happiest couples is that it didn't come without a little bit of effort. But they were able to build amazing careers, families and lives together. And while nothing's perfect, it is a special gift when you find someone that loves you -- really loves you -- and wants to see you grow in every way.
Knowing some amazing couples, I definitely believe that I'll find a man that will be truly and unconditionally supportive of me. And, I in turn, will give him the same. In the meantime, thought, I'll continue to be that workaholic, just chill and keep my mind open to meeting the man that will make me want to give a little -- in which case, it would definitely be worth the wait.
You can find the full article, "Having it all: Is it Possible to Have a Successful Career AND Relationship?" on Guts.Glam.Grace.