Guys: When you ask for a date, the direct approach may make a better impression

Portrait of a young woman holding a glass of cocktail with a young man in the background Square

One of the things that amuses me about guys is the way that they vary in the way they approach women, especially in Chicago's single scene. I've been asked out all sorts of ways, which shows me a lot about a guy. And, the way he asks will determine whether I accept -- of course, when you consider that on top of things like conversation, physical attraction and the like.

Anyway, I realized that no matter what the nuances are or the words he uses, the direct approach goes a long way in not only getting noticed but making a positive impression...

So last night, I attended Celebrate You Chicago, a kick off to the rolling out of the Fall 2010 Spa Week Directory. I was in the company of many different people, including my pal Candace and while there ended up in conversations with a young man, who was a matchmaker.

In any event, while chatting, my pal Candace decided that she would play her own version of matchmaker and jokingly suggest fixing him up with Jess Downey (blogger of All the Singles Ladies on ChicagoNow, who was present). In any event, we all had a chuckle about it until he asks Candace, "Well what about her," pointing at me.

I had been sipping a glass of wine and nearly choked on my chuckle.

"What, you're into her," she asked.

"Well, if you're going to ask about one of these ladies, the least you can do is ask about the other one present too."

"But that's not answering the question," she pressed.

"I wouldn't be opposed to it," he replied.

Meanwhile, I'm standing, witnessing the conversation in amusement.

"Well, I happen to know that wouldn't be possible because she's not available."

"And," I interjected, "it may help to ask me directly, since I'm standing here. Not that it would matter, but I'm just pointing that out."

"Then in that case, it's a non-issue," he replied. Then, to recoup, he continues the conversation.

Smiling and laughing to myself, I thought about it later that night. Admittedly, I wasn't attracted to the guy. However, what rubbed me the wrong way was the way he talked about asking me out while I was there, but not actually doing it. Not exactly great for a lasting impression.

Lesson learned? That if you should decide to ask someone out, consider the direct approach. Once you decide, just run with it. Hey -- you never do know what she'll say. And she'll admire your strength for coming out with it. Otherwise, keep it to yourself.

In this case, it wasn't in the cards. But, maybe for some other gal? Could be.

Leave a comment