She Says: Dating insights ladies wish men knew


Three Young Adult Women Talking

Every time we start seeing someone new, we're bound to quickly learn about what we do and don't like about them. And it's natural for us to keep mental notes of these things, to decide if the person really is a good fit for us -- or at least have a chance to make it to the second, third or forth dates.

As I've continued to engage in tons of chatter with other women, I realize that many of them have their own feelings about what they wish potential dating prospects knew early on in the game that may have made a difference between just a phone call or date into a little more.

So, I couldn't resist gathering little things I heard along the way, pulling it together into random scribbles in my notebook... And, introducing "She Says."

Over the next few weeks (in time for the weekend!), I'll pull together a one or two points, based on random stories I gathered from many women, all on what they wish men kept in mind in the beginning stages of the dating game. While this will initially be comprised of thoughts from ladies to men, I'm also more than willing to hear from the guys on their thoughts to the ladies.

Maybe these random, logical tidbits will help turn one time meetings into a few dates, arm you with a little more information on a Saturday night or just make you laugh. More than anything, these insights should be fun and give you a peek into what the other side may be thinking... (Although a couple of these really could help you out...)

That said, the first tidbits from this week's "She Says" after the jump...

In honor of this new section, I figured I'd share three tidbits that I received! So, here goes:

Talking yourself up too much is a no-no! As my pal Marisol* put it, things like how much money you make, how nice your apartment is, where you like to
shop and who you know is just way too much because, as she put it, "it automatically makes me believe you have no
substance and I am instantly uninterested."

True story she shared: "A guy pulled over and followed me into the mechanic (I
thought he was just another customer) when I was done he told me that
he saw me and just had to pull over and asked for my number...tall
handsome guy so I gave it to him. He already had the # but felt the
need to talk himself up. He told me how is just finished writing a book
and had his own website and was flying out to LA to film a movie etc.
etc. and he was friends with so and so. When I went outside he was
driving a NOT brand new Jeep Cherokee which for all the talk he was
doing did not seem to add up so I never answered his phone call or

In this case, he overdid it and it ruined the deal. Maybe a case when less is more...

Don't ask for the number if you don't want it: This always seems to be a pet peeve for a lot of girls -- a guy who asks for the number only to not use it. Sure, there may be some good intentions to call, but not calling at all? That could be a little annoying. So, after getting a girl's number, it's OK to draw out the chase a little bit... Maybe a couple of days to set something up again. But too much time going by could pretty much be a deal breaker for many women. Simply put: Play it WISELY. 

Being too eager is a no-no:
Many women, like men, enjoy playing the dating game: wondering if he'll call, what the first few dates are like, when things escalate to the next level. All natural, of course. But, getting too eager too soon can send off signals in a lady's head. As my childhood best friend Renee* put it: "I dont like men who get too emotionally attached too fast -- big turn off. Men who seem too
eager scare me!" So playing it cool -- but straight up -- may make a more lasting impression.

Got any dating insights you wish potential dating prospects knew? Feel free to e-mail it to shesays [at] for inclusion in the next round! 

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