As children we start making friends with kids from the block, at school or even church (yikes). We are taught to share our toys and always be respectful. But even as children we start to understand that not all friendships are right, and in some cases, unhealthy. We stop playing with these “friends”, stop sharing our toys and find new friends to play with. The same applies to adult relationships.
When we reach adulthood the values we look for in a friend may vary more, but the core ones are the same. We want someone to have fun with, to talk to and trust. We look for those with common interest and at times someone that will challenge us. For whatever reasons, these relationships are some of the most important ones we will ever have. They can also be the most heartbreaking and hurtful ones.
I don’t know anyone that has had perfect friendships their entire life…if so, you are very lucky. Many of us have had friends come in and out of our lives for a variety of reasons; sometimes by choice, sometimes by force. I can think of a few friendships I have had over the years that for me turned toxic and had to be ended. All the while knowing ending these relationships was the right thing to do did not make it any easier to do.
I am not going to go into the circumstances that led to the end of these friendships other than to say they were unhealthy and in one relationship it was very one sided and using. What I will say is that in these cases I can say I made the right choices. In the aftermath of the break-ups, the former friends tend to show their true colors and are soon to be seen for the person they really are and move on to their next “victim”.
I use the term victim, because it seems in some of these cases, there friend at fault is searching for a friend they can take advantage of, and when they see their chance, they strike. In most cases it is while you are dealing with something traumatic (in one it was during a serious break-up I was going thru). It’s as if they what for you to become weak so they can leach on and take over your life and find a way to control it.
These people are not friends, they are opportunists. A true friendship is never one-sided and should never be controlled by one person. There should be a mutual respect and understanding of the other’s needs. A true friend is more excited to hear about your happiness and not waiting to feed off your sorrow.
As you evaluate your current relationship and before you start anew hold on to your values and the qualities you put into and look for in a friendship. A true friend will never take, use or abuse.
Never settle, never compromise!
So before your friend gives it to you in the rear,
Kick them to the curb and call on The Queer!