There comes a point in most relationships where we ask ourselves, 'What am I still doing in here?" For most of us the answer is clear and the decision has to be made to end things and move on; for others it is not as easy to walk away.
For many, the idea of being in love and having someone in their life can consume their thoughts. So, is it any surprise that when this seemingly desperate person finds themselves in a relationship they are unable to walk away from it no matter how unhealthy it may seem? Look at the people involved and most times it will be clear.
We have all seen someone going through this, and as a friend when do you step in a say something? As soon as you notice the situation; you may piss someone off but you may be the wake up call they needed. Isn't your friendship worth the risk?
In most cases, the person that was so desperate for love in the first place now feels that if they lose what they have, they may never find love again. Why? Because they do not love themselves.
One thing I have learned after my relationship ended earlier this year was that I was not loving myself and was depending on someone else to make me happy. FAIL! Placing the sole ownership of you happiness in the hands of another is going to lead to misery and heartbreak, trust me. The most paramount thing in life is to truly love yourself; how else will anyone else be able to if you don't?
Another reason they often stay in a relationships, is comfort. Over time we allow ourselves to become complacent in our everyday lives and the idea of ending a relationship and starting over is just to daunting. So we stay. How is this fair to not only the other person, but yourself?
No matter what it is that is keeping you in a dead end relationship, it is not worth it. Your happiness is of the utmost importance and to sacrifice that for someone else is nothing short of self inflicted emotional abuse. You wouldn't allow someone to abuse your friend so why do you allow it to be done to yourself, by you?
When you are ready to leave, what do you do first?
Talk to you friends and family! They are going to be your support group and we all need support when going through major life changes.
How do you approach the other person?
BE HONEST! There is no reason at this point to sugar coat things. The person that you are leaving both needs and deserves to know why you have finally decided to walk away. And, with any hope, that person will learn something about themselves in the process and make changes to their life.
How do you move on?
One day at a time! One foot in front of the other! Each day you will feel stronger and more independent.
Above all, what ever your situation is (single, happily partnered, or in a dead end relationship) make yourself a priority. Walking away may feel impossible, but it could also save your life. After all this is YOUR life and YOU are the one responsible for it.
And remember if you want to leave but are frozen in fear,
You can always ask The Queer!