Ah, the single life..I think I remember what it was like: The freedom to what ever with whomever, those were the day. But, there is something to be said for monogamy as well. I find myself to be a better person because of my relationship and began wonder if the same is true for those that are more "open" with their relationships are those that are having indiscriminate sex just as happy and fulfilled with their collection of lovers?
The complexity with a monogamous relationship is in level of trust that must be built and maintained. This can takes years in some cases; maybe if there weren't so many little white lies, it wouldn't take so long, but I am Southern and I embellish...I digress :-). Were is the trust with the random hook-up or the regular "fun" buddy? I don't think you can have the same level of trust with people you are only having sex with.
I am not saying there is NO trust in more casual types of relationships, but it is definitely different. Most casual situations are focused on the sex with little regard to emotions. Conversations in these instances seem to be shallow and uninvolved; we don't want to open up to much to this person as a way to avoid any deeper feelings. When there are multiple people involved then the range of emotions and personal connection are extremely shallow; it's hard to keep things straight when there are so many.
Not being judgemental towards any who choose this type of life, but I can't image you are as happy as I. There has to be a longing for something more intimate. Being with a person wanting something deeper than a physical relationship makes the physical so much more exciting. To be connected with a person on multiple levels not only heightens the sexual relationship but the emotional as well. These are things I would not be able to live without now having them for the past few years, but again, that is me. To each his own.
I wish love and joy for all; but don't mistake instant gratification for true happiness. Find out what it is that makes you happy and find it; don't settle for a life less fulfilled if that's what you truly desire. If you are happy with your rolodex of lovers, then more power too you as well; just make sure you keep things safe!
Until next time, keep on lovin'...not only others, but yourself; it's the way to true happiness.
Filed under: Advice, Chicago, Classy, Daniel Scogin, Date, Dating, Dating Advice, Friends, Friends with Benefit, Guys, Queer guy's advice for the straight guy, Relationships, Relationships 101, Sex, Single
Tags: Advice, Chicago, ChicagoNow, Daniel Scogin, Dating, Dating Advice, Dating Tips, Dating Tips for Men, Love, Men, Relationships, Sex, Single, The Queer Guy
