Will wonders never cease?
I'm sitting settling in for a nice quiet evening, reading to watch The O'Reilly Factor, when all of a sudden, my senses are completely shut down.
There, on the television screen, was a picture of Roseanne Barr, a famous comedienne known for her television sitcom Roseanne (of which I am a huge fan and always will be, because it is one of the greats of sitcom history.) But then, those awful words are uttered by Roseanne herself of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: "My announcement is that I am running for president of the United States."
I sat there for several minutes, stunned by what I heard. I couldn't believe a word of it. It was as if someone had sprayed pepper spray in my eyes. I could feel the pain trying to ooze out of my eyelids, but I waited until the rage cooled down a bit before I dragged myself to my computer to type this little all-but-love letter to Ms. Barr.
First of all, the facts of her announcement, courtesy of US Magazine:
Roseanne appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night (8/4/11) and said "You know, Jay, I decided that since you're the one that got Arnold Schwarzenegger elected as governor of California, that I wanted to make my announcement here on your show because I really wanted to ask for your support. My announcement is that I am running for president of the United States."
Roseanne, sensing people would think of this as another of her finely-tuned jokes, came to her own defense: "I'm totally serious, 'Cause I want to be a part of the debates, because I want to represent the tax payer. In fact, I'm choosing the tax payers as my vice president."
And who inspired the 58-year-old newly-indoctrinated reality star, whose new reality show Roseanne's Nuts airs on Lifetime, to run? SARAH PALIN! ""It's because of her that I decided to do a reality show. That's kinda what got me thinking that I too should run for president, if she can... I feel like she's stealing my act anyway!"
When asked what Political Party she would be representing, she said she had made up her own! "I'm not for [Democrats or Republicans] because they both suck and they're a bunch of criminals. She says her new party will be called the "American's Green Tea Party."
In a Tweet, she reiterated that she is serious about running "So [she] can speak on behalf of the taxpayers of this country who are dissed to the max."
And what is does Steven, Mr. Bill O'Reilly Jr., think about Madame Roseanne's plans?
I think this is an absolute travesty to the American People.
Has running for President of the United States of American become a supreme punchline in our modern society, who favors a finely-tuned joke to a finely-tuned political speech?
Roseanne's assertion regarding running for President is absolutely absurd. Who would vote for that big great braying lummox anyways?
I adore Roseanne as a comedienne, but that is where she should STAY! Comedy.
And who would thought that such great political commentary would come from Roseanne? According to her both parties, Republicans and Democrats "suck" and are a "bunch of criminals." WHEW! Call Barbara Walters, I think someone has become the new queen journalist in the USA!
Roseanne may be funny, outside of the political arena, but when it comes to politics she is simply an big old ostritch with her head in the ground!
Celebrities, by and large, should neither get into politics or even TALK about politics. They simply cling onto the most powerful party and act like prissy little idiots cleaning up the big elephant's crap.
Roseanne should strick to what she knows. And we all know that that is NOT singing the National Anthem (which I think should be another strike against her for running for President! Can anyone listen to her do that and NOT think she's some sort of Communist who is degrading our national anthem simply for the purposes of her divine comedy?)
The fact that she is throwing both political parties to the wind already makes her sound like a raving lunatic. It's like she's saying "Screw the lifeboats, the SS Roseanne will never sink!) Her new party, the so-called "American Green Tea Party", sounds exactly like a bad comedian's joke at a seedy nightclub in downtown hicksville. I wish her all the luck in the world trying to keep that crappy name and make it stick without sounding like a mental patient every time she utters it.
Who will she pick as her staff? Don Rickles as Vice President? Phyllis Diller as Secretary of State? John Goodman as Secretary of Defense (and eating turkeys...)
But, alas, I cannot joke about Roseanne's bid for President anymore. because, already, the joke has run dry. There's no more humor left in it.
So I am only left with my immense sadness for our country and letting people like her think she could run the country and NOT send it spiraling into a mountainside!
If you will join me, I will make a pledge to NOT listen to this madwoman's ravings anymore.
Because if we keep feeding into her paranoia, she will NEVER leave! She will just keep talking and talking and talking until every head in the US has burst from sheer antagonism.
But then again, in a country that would elect Barack Obama President, what would expect?