What happens when a grown man and a cow fall in love?
That's part of what happened in this week's all-new Bob's Burgers on FOX. After its bright, non-cloying theme song, I was laughing for the entire half-hour.
The premise of the episode was that Randy Watkins, a Michael Moore-clone, is making a documentary about the beef industry called Dial M for Mooder. He comes to Bob's Burgers with a live cow and a timer. Bob has five days to decide whether he wants the cow to live or die. If there is no answer in five days, the cow will be murdered. Coming on the very day of his 100,000th burger, Bob is peeved. But it turns out that the cow and the movie are good publicity for the restaurant, since business is booming.
Tina, on the other hand, falls in love with the cow (named Moolissa), convinced that the cow is sending her text messages through the cow's poop. Louise takes advantage of this, gathering poop in an icing bag and creating messages to mess with poor Tina's mind.
One stormy night, Bob feels bad for the cow being tied up outside the restaurant sitting in the rain, so he bring it in the house, which Randy Watkins sees, claiming he has won. Linda, fed up with the cow peeing on her carpet, shoves the cow down the stairs and ties it up outside again.
But the next day, the cow is gone. It turns out the local cheap petting zoo stole stole the cow. When they arrive to steal the cow, later that night, the petting zoo owner comes out, but is quickly subdued by Gene and Louise biting her legs, which leads Louise to comment that she tasted like "sawdust and goats."
They take the cow back to the shop, but it runs out into the street...AND...almost gets hit by a car. But it turns out that almost getting hit is almost as bad, since the cow has a "cow heart attack." Everyone, including love-struck Tina, is sad, but none more than Bob. He faints, and has a dream in which the cow is talking to him. The cow tells him that he should keep making burgers because, as the cow says, "you turn me into something amazing."
They have a funeral the next day, in the restaurant, and Bob exclaims that cows are "the full package."
This episode, again, was utterly hilarious. Whether it be Louise commenting that she "applied for a gun license" or Gene angling to compose the music, on his portable keyboard, for the documentary, the laughs are non-stop. Gene's annoying-ness is getting charming, actually, and Tina's dull personality actual has more character than most. The show has a certain charm about it. It's not vulgar, really, but it is just funny! What other show would say that documentary publicity is "better than a sex tape"?
Each week the characters get stronger, and so does the plot. We are really starting to relate to these characters. My favorite happens to be Louise. She is just so quirky and funny, and wise beyond her years. When Bob shows them the box of meat that contains the meat for their 100,000th burgers, Louise exclaims that she "wants to blow it up." Gene exclaims that he "wants to feel it between his toes." And poor Tina says that her "bra is chafing" her. The three children are so different, and play off each other's quirkiness so well. Bob and Linda are still a tad weak as the married couple, but this week wasn't really about them. It was about Bob coming to terms with what he has to do in life. And, in the end, we DO get a moral: you have to do what you have to do to make it in this world, even if that means killing cows or biting petting zoo owners!