Today, I thought, would be a relaxing Sunday afternoon. But alas, I was wrong. I was watching the Food Network, my favorite channel, but recently they have made some very bad changes in programming. First, there was firing Emeril. Then, they started to hire mope like Geena and Pat Neely, who constantly fondle each other while cooking. I swear, If I have to hear one more sex joke while cutting up a cucumber I will shoot myself. But even those things I could forgive. But this afternoon, the topper of toppers reared its ugly head. I saw a commercial for Guy's Big Bite, hosted by Guy Fieri, who also hosts the mildly-entertaining show Diners, Drive-In's and Dives. A special prime-time episode is being planned. It will feature Guy Fieri, who is a typical surfer-dude turned chef who regularly uses the words Gnarly! and Far-out! on a regular basis, cooking with a sloth almost his equal in terms of personality, Matthew McConaughey.
Now, I'm not bashing just to hate on them. I used to like Guy Fieri, but now I feel with him hosting more than 4 shows, he's gone into a little bit of overkill. I just don't like to see Food Network going in this direction. I smell imminent disaster in this pairing. There just isn't enough intelligent dynamic to comprise a whole cooking show. It just won't work! Matthew McConaughey is not my favorite actor, and I think he won't have a whole lot to add to a cooking segment. It'll just be half-an-hour of mindless commentary between Guy and Matt spouting off whatever mangled phrases and unintelligible warbles they can. It just isn't conducive to good cooking show entertainment. Matthew may be a good cook, but that is probably where he should stay: in HIS California-based, sand-stained kitchen cooking hot pockets covered in ketchup! I don't mean to be a downer, but that's just the way it's going to be. The ratings MAY show otherwise (as I'm sure McC's little tween fans will tune in to see him cook a roast, imagining themselves in the kitchen cooking with him) but it'll just be another sharp thorn in Food Network''s already tarnished and bruised side. I smell disaster, and this time it's not Sandra Lee's overcooked, crock-pot roast that is producing this odor.