Trophies for every kid?

Trophies for every kid?
Trophies For Everyone!

You get a trophy, you get a trophy, everybody gets a trophy, is this the right way to teach our children? Whether the kid was a big brat, or was eating a big onion-ed up brat during their soccer game, the real lesson is that they are all winners just the same, aren’t they? God forbid someone’s feelings get hurt, children shouldn’t have to deal with disappointment, or should they?

Aren’t graveyards filled with love lost and disappointment? Or are cemeteries loaded with I’m glad you’re dead penants and good job with dying banners? Lucy kept pulling the football out from Charlie Brown, such a great lesson in life, don’t you think? Don’t you also think that Lucy deserves an award for best bully?

Maybe if little Barry Bonds or Tommy Brady kept receiving trophies for participating they might have been as comfortable in their own skin as Hannibal Lector, and wouldn’t have cheated, wouldn’t you agree? Shouldn’t everything come easy for kids? Why should kids have to work or earn anything? Shouldn’t schools just hand out A’s like trophies to all that show up? So what if they can’t read, R. Kelly admits to being illiterate and he’s a great role model, isn’t he? So if you want your son to grow up like R. Kelly, put down the reading materials and keep engraving those trophies or would you rather medals?

And poor O.J., if only he received a Heisman Trophy for every year eligible, then he’d probably still be married, doing Hertz commercials and collecting rent from Kato, isn’t everything rainbows and unicorns when everyone gets trophies?

Why doesn’t everyone in the Olympics receive gold medals? Tonya Harding would’ve been saved some humiliation if she received her gold and don’t you believe that she would have been pictured on a Wheaties box just like ?????? Jenner, wouldn’t she? And talking about Jenner, if he/she received trophies for everything he/she did in his/her life, then maybe he/she wouldn’t have crashed his/her car into an innocent motorist and drove off while listening to Lady Ga Ga, or was he/she listening to Boy George?

So America keep on handing out trophies as if it were Halloween candy and maybe the next versions of Tonya Harding, Tom Brady, Barry Bonds, Jenner, and O.J. will make the right choices and will each reserve their spot on the infinite victory stand of life because everyone deserves a trophy- Don’t they?

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