Gar-Pax won’t consider tradebacks.

There is no truth to the rumor that John Paxson and Gar Forman were seen laughing after Jimmy Butler went down with a knee injury this week.  The injury is a great I told you so, while Gar-Pax can sit on their porch, drink a Bartles and James and reminisce about the 2017 trade.  The blockbuster deal between the Timberwolves and the Bulls has appeared to be as one sided as the Tyson / McNealy fight in 1995.  While the Bulls received three promising prospects, with Lauri Markkanen a close candidate for rookie of the year, the Wolves have nothing to show except for a D League towel boy, a likely first round exit, and a new shipment of knee braces for Tom Thibodeau’s overworked starting roster.

Part of the deal that goes unnoticed is the Wolves procurement of the 16th pick in the 2017 draft in which they used to select Creighton big man Justin Patton.  Thib’s treatment of young players continues to be legendary with Patton being sent directly down to the Iowa Wolves of the D-League, where he gives them a mannequin-like presence off the bench.

Markkanen, on the other hand, has become the fastest rookie to 100 career three-pointers in NBA history and Zach LaVine continues to lead the Bulls in scoring since coming back from the I.R.  The third piece, Kris Dunn, is a tall menacing ball hawk with scoring ability, reminiscent of a young Ron Harper.  There is also no truth to the rumors that Thibs had the 50-ish Harper and his ace bandage (now that’s old school) in for a tryout to replace Butler.

Thib’s Wolves are big on experience with 6 players born in the 80’s.  Thibs has a tendency to sign older players, since they are the only ones that can understand the plays he copied from watching Beta Max tapes of the White Shadow. Road trips for the T-Wolves can be troublesome especially when half the team wants to eat at a Chipotle and the older players keep looking for a Chi Chi’s.  The team also may have difficulty bonding when deciding what movie to watch. Thib’s decision to watch Peter Seller’s Pink Panther over Black Panther may have rustled a few feathers.

Jimmy Butler’s meniscal injury is believed to be minuscule, but that’s what Derrick Rose’s doctors said and how’s that working for DRose and Adidas?  (Adidas Stock—Sell Mortimer, Sell!)

At the time of his injury, Butler had played more minutes than anyone in the NBA.  The only one capable of logging more minutes is a logger doing a log roll in the Lumberjack Bowl in Cripple Creek Colorado— ooops I mentioned cripple in a Tom Thibodeau article.

Would Thib’s want to go back and refrain from making this trade?  You betcha, faster than Taj Gibson could say “Mr. Belvedere”.  But there are No-Tradebacks Thibs, maybe Paxson can trade Omar Asik for a future Timberwolve’s first rounder, in the mean time: Don’t forget to smile.

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