Disclaimer: I know that I have privilege. Not white privilege (read essay on white privilege if you need background) obviously, but the privilege to worship freely, congregate, protest, speak, and live a life that for the most part is free of certain constraints. I do not take those freedoms for granted. However there is one freedom that I do not share that others have. Again, I would like to state in advance that I have a good life. There is no pity party here. My daughter and I are blessed beyond measure, and honestly I don’t want anyone else’s life. I made choices long ago so that we can be in this place in our lives and I very little regret for those decisions. Unapologetically, I have high standards, for myself and for the people around me. Because I have suffered and sacrificed, I live life to the fullest and I love the good that comes out of it. Needless to say, while dining out tonight, I noticed the people were around me having a great time. (Except for the random couple at the bar) For the first twenty minutes, I was also enjoying myself. Eating, playing and communicate with my autistic daughter Taylor.
Then towards the end of the meal, she became agitated. I requested the check and as we left I looked over my shoulder, realizing that others were free; sitting and dining without stress and free to stay and enjoy their meal. My life is not like that and hasn’t been for a long time. There are certain aspects of my life that mirror parents of typical children, and as a whole we share the same experience. However, I am bound by the fact that aside from my mother, there are less than three people in this world that I trust with my child and that limits my “freedom.” I am not looking for sympathy, merely taking a moment to relish in the other freedoms and privileges that I have, realizing that despite the lack of freedom that exist as a parent of a special needs child, there are other freedoms and privileges that I enjoy. I have a good life. We all do.
Filed under: Uncategorized