Good Freedom

Good Freedom

Disclaimer: I know that I have privilege.  Not white privilege (read essay on white privilege if you need background) obviously, but the privilege to worship freely, congregate, protest, speak, and live a life that for the most part is free of certain constraints.  I do not take those freedoms for granted.  However there is one freedom that I do not share that others have.  Again, I would like to state in advance that I have a good life.  There is no pity party here. My daughter and I are blessed beyond measure, and honestly I don’t want anyone else’s life.  I made choices long ago so that we can be in this place in our lives and I very little regret for those decisions.  Unapologetically, I have high standards, for myself and for the people around me.  Because I have suffered and sacrificed, I live life to the fullest and I love the good that comes out of it.  Needless to say, while dining out tonight, I noticed the people were around me having a great time. (Except for the random couple at the bar)  For the first twenty minutes, I was also enjoying myself.  Eating, playing and communicate with my autistic daughter Taylor.

Then towards the end of the meal, she became agitated.  I requested the check and as we left I looked over my shoulder, realizing that others were free; sitting and dining without stress and free to stay and enjoy their meal.  My life is not like that and hasn’t been for a long time.  There are certain aspects of my life that mirror parents of typical children, and as a whole we share the same experience. However, I am bound by the fact that aside from my mother, there are less than three people in this world that I trust with my child and that limits my “freedom.” I am not looking for sympathy, merely taking a moment to relish in the other freedoms and privileges that I have, realizing that despite the lack of freedom that exist as a parent of a special needs child, there are other freedoms and privileges that I enjoy.  I have a good life. We all do.

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