Today is a sad day for gingers. Prince Harry and Sparkles likelihood of carrying ginger babies is quite low. I'm still unreasonably angry Prince Harry didn't choose me instead. I mean c'mon, we'd have been like, the cutest couple ever.
Something tells me the Queen was OK with the ceremony being so atraditional because she wanted to make sure there weren't any additional gingers in line for the throne. She certainly proved today that she's not overtly racist against black people (the blackness of the wedding was AWESOME and unexpected), but I still suspect gingerism -- the last frontier of racism -- is in her bones.
After all, how could it not be considering England's history with Ireland?
Also, dear Harry, is really, really hot. I never ever thought I'd say that about a ginger guy before, but he's like the only celebrity I've ever crushed on who I actually feel torn up and genuinely jealous about getting married. I mean normally I know they are celebrities, and I don't have a chance, and I probably wouldn't even like their personalities in real life anyway/they're probably arseholes, but something about Harry just makes me feel so genuinely into him. Like if I had a coworker who looked like him, I'd want to bone him so badly. Maybe it's his bad boy reputation. Le sigh. And as an added bonus: if we procreated, we'd further the ginger race.
Also, growing up, I always had it out for girls like Sparkles. Just racially ambiguous enough so as to be exotic but still OK to take home to mom -- I always saw them as a threat, because quite frankly, cute white boys always chose them over me! I'm thankful to be in Chicago now, where I'm considered slightly more exotic than I was in my Scandinavian-heavy hometown, where gingers abound. Also, how does Sparkles, well...sparkle...so much? She reminds me of glitter, and it's just not fair that the rest of us plebes don't naturally sparkle as much!
Also...I miss Princess Diana :(