Early 20s Nostalgia

Early 20s Nostalgia

I've been feeling nostalgic about 2009-2011ish lately. Everything felt new & fresh. It was the dawn of the social media age, and I had Twitter before pretty much anyone else did (#humblebrag). Through social media, I was building a personal brand, getting to talk to editors of big magazines who otherwise would've never given me the time of day. The possibilities felt endless. Would I become I famous blogger? Or go to LA and get work as a comedy writer? Or I'd finally get that big journalism break? Or maybe my trial period with that famous satire publication would pan out.

These days, I'm a copywriter (the most boring but well-paid of the writing fields. And so it goes.) and keep my life a lot more private. Social media drives me nuts, and I've turned off all my notifications to help curb addiction. I rarely read the news to save my mental health. I still think about these possibilities, but with less heart. Even if they come true, I will still be grasping at the things I need to do to make myself not feeling broken all of the time (exercise, meditation, healthy food, friends, music, books). Instead, I've narrowed down 3 big life goals I have. I feel less unhinged, more settled. Less inspired. And I miss that bright, fresh-faced view of the world, where in spite -- and in fact, because of -- a recession, anything is possible.

Le sigh. Like Joan Didion in her essay "Goodbye to All That", I keep wondering where is the schoolgirl who used to be me. When my hair was redder. Curlier. And I was more naive. Innocent, really. And then reminding myself that Didion had to figure out that we all wonder that, at some point in our lives.

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    The Ginger Phile has had the unfortunate disposition of being a ginger since birth. She has tried various medications to cure her gingervitis, including therapies such as tantrum-throwing. Her efforts have been to no avail. Instead, she is trying to write it out, via this blog. Unfortunately, she doesn't think it will bear a soul for her. The Ginger Phile is from the exotic land of Wisconsin, where she had daily inner turmoil over whether she was a ginger or a daywalker. So far, three of three votes say daywalker. She begs to differ, as someone recently told her they would want to be with her if they were biking at night because she is so pale.

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