Sober Lindsay Lohan

Once upon a time, a leading lady existed who both had red hair and acting talent. Unlike the gingers of today, she was not pigeonholed into stereotypical ginger roles like Isla Fisher (crazy), Jessica Chastain (intense independent who would be the lead in a romcom) or sexpot (Joan from Mad Men).

That leading lady is Lindsay Lohan. She had a promising future ahead of her. Then she went blonde.

I know the media blames her money-crazed parents and her heroin-shooting mom for Lindsay's addiction problems but the media is also currently, by default, drumming up support for a terrorist group that desires to wipe out an entire race of people. Someone needs to let them know Hitler already tried that...and failed. Let's face the facts: Lindsay's career tanked after "Mean Girls", which in my unbiased opinion, one of the best movies ever made about high school. (Sorry former roommate who forced me to watch Clueless at least once a month.)

After the 2000s version of Clueless was released, Lohan turned into a gaunt shadow of her formerly curvaceous...and talented...self. I don't know whether the drugs stripped her hair of color and the heroin made her gaunt or if some asshole in Hollywood told her she needed to be blonde and skinnier to advance her career. But I miss Ginger Lindsay. I miss having a talented carrottop role model who could play a beautiful, intelligent and sane character. And mostly, I miss not wondering how she is possibly still alive.

One thing I do know is Nicole Kidman faced a similar career trajectory when her hair turned to straw and her face turned to ice. So to the Jessica Chastain's of the world: going blonde is career suicide! Just don't.

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    The Ginger Phile has had the unfortunate disposition of being a ginger since birth. She has tried various medications to cure her gingervitis, including therapies such as tantrum-throwing. Her efforts have been to no avail. Instead, she is trying to write it out, via this blog. Unfortunately, she doesn't think it will bear a soul for her. The Ginger Phile is from the exotic land of Wisconsin, where she had daily inner turmoil over whether she was a ginger or a daywalker. So far, three of three votes say daywalker. She begs to differ, as someone recently told her they would want to be with her if they were biking at night because she is so pale.

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