The Ginger Jew

I am here to tell you about a specific breed of ginger much worse than the daywalker: the elusive and yet so popular Ginger Jew. Ginger Jews are Jews who have ginger hair, and I'm pretty sure Cartman would have a field day if he ever met one.

Ginger Jews are strange because most do seem to be daywalkers. Have you ever met a super-pale redheaded Jew? With the exception of my half-Jew self, I have not. And I got a lot of attention for my paleness when I went to Israel. I'm pretty sure they all thought I was a terrorist because my skin is translucent. I definitely fielded a lot of redist comments. But, that's a story for another day.

So as I was saying, most ginger Jews are daywalkers, unlike brown-haired Ashkenazi Jews who can't see the sun. But worse than daywalkers (I can't believe there's such a thing!), this type of ginger also has a Jew-fro. Can you imagine having a ginger Jew fro? What the insults would be? I know from firsthand experience that it sucks to be a ginger Jew, a double minority that isn't eligible for any scholarships because we already make up half the population of Harvard.

Ginger Jews received the lowest gene pool of them all hair-wise. Apparently, they may have ascended from King David, who is pretty awesome as far as the Bible goes. But most Birthright trips seem to shun gingers, as I was voted "Most Ginger" on my trip, and my hair is aging into blonde-dom. Also, a high concentration of them exist in Madison, Wis., for some reason. Probably because the sun only comes out 3 months per year there.

Are you a ginger Jew? Do you like ginger Jews? How do you feel about them? As an FYI, ginger spotting is way more fun in Israel, when the ginger fro is peeking out of the kippah.


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    The Ginger Phile has had the unfortunate disposition of being a ginger since birth. She has tried various medications to cure her gingervitis, including therapies such as tantrum-throwing. Her efforts have been to no avail. Instead, she is trying to write it out, via this blog. Unfortunately, she doesn't think it will bear a soul for her. The Ginger Phile is from the exotic land of Wisconsin, where she had daily inner turmoil over whether she was a ginger or a daywalker. So far, three of three votes say daywalker. She begs to differ, as someone recently told her they would want to be with her if they were biking at night because she is so pale.

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