How to Change a Man

How to Change a Man
Jennifer Morrison as a blonde and a redhead. Which is better?

Blondes V. Redheads

If there's one thing my ex (not so affectionately known as Ginger Phile No. 2) made clear, it's that he hated blondes. I once showed him a picture of my college roommates and said, "Aren't they attractive?" and he replied, "No, they're blonde."

Anyone with straight, dark hair, pale skin and Betty Page bangs would get his blood flowing a little faster. When I suggested I always wanted hair like that, he encouraged me to dye mine. While this was probably his ideal look, he also liked redheads, once making an aside that he "wished he'd fucked all the redheads in Chicago." Ew, sick, gross, no?

Well, I must have turned him onto blondes. Not because I'm blonde myself, obviously, but because he realized all redheads are #batshitcray, me being the worst of them. He always told me I was crazy, which is partially true, but mostly his way of manipulating women into thinking they are wrong, as many men do. (Sorry, soapbox rant.) Lots of our conversations would go like this:

Him: You're cray cray.

Me: Why am I cray cray?

Him: Because you're a redhead. All redheads are crazy.

And when I told him my hair was getting lighter, as a result of aging, he'd freak out. He made it clear he wasn't going to find me attractive as a blonde. (Yeah, yeah red flag, I know.) But recently, I was stalking him on Facebook only to find a picture of him next to, you guessed it, a blonde. Now, I've envied blondes all my life. Men (and women) instantly add at least 2 points to their attractiveness rating primarily because they are blonde. Not-so-cute blondes get hit on more than their plain-Jane brunette friends.  It's just a fact of life.

Yet he finds -- or found -- blondes unattractive. He must really, really like this girl, and/or is probably convincing her to go to brunette at any moment. Or, I gave him way too much trouble and he decided he'd never go out with a redhead ever again and actually opened his mind to the prospect of dating blondes. Either way, I like to think I made him like blondes, because I proved to him that redheads are #batshitcray. But mostly, I like to believe I had the power to turn him into an anti-ginger phile.

What do you think? Can ginger philes be changed into anti-ginger philes?


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  • Guys lie. If they say they make a point to mention they don't like a particular trait in other women, it's because they love that trait. I learned this lesson in 9th grade when the boy I was dating said, "I hate tall girls" and then dated a tall girl. They think they're complimenting us by hating on the competition (I'm short).

    When I die, I'm 90% certain my husband will date someone with small boobs.

  • In reply to Jenna Karvunidis:

    Here's to a long life!

  • In reply to Jenna Karvunidis:

    Most guys don't make it a point to mention one trait or another, but are goaded into it: "Well, do ya? Huh? Do ya?"

    Maybe the 9th grade guy didn't like tall girls as a rule, but then didn't like shorter girls who assume "guys lie". Looks and stature only get a person, man or woman, so far.

    Most women I've met do not swoon for tall, blond and handsome.

  • In reply to Richard Davis:

    Regarding this person, he told me his opinion on woman's traits without my goading him. And he'd tell me about a crush on a celebrity he had who looked nothing like me. Happens both ways, depending how much of a dolt the guy is -- although I've heard that's also a good way to get laid.

  • Haha, Jenna, that's hilarious!

  • Thomas Jefferson was a red-head.

  • In reply to Aquinas wired:

    Duh. Haven't you been reading my blog?

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    The Ginger Phile has had the unfortunate disposition of being a ginger since birth. She has tried various medications to cure her gingervitis, including therapies such as tantrum-throwing. Her efforts have been to no avail. Instead, she is trying to write it out, via this blog. Unfortunately, she doesn't think it will bear a soul for her. The Ginger Phile is from the exotic land of Wisconsin, where she had daily inner turmoil over whether she was a ginger or a daywalker. So far, three of three votes say daywalker. She begs to differ, as someone recently told her they would want to be with her if they were biking at night because she is so pale.

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