Facebook made me fat. Oh, and Instagram did, too. On Facebook and Instagram, you will not see my muffin top, or my thighs that begin to touch only inches above my knee. In the world of social networks, where my "selfies" are all taken from downward angles and my ass is discreetly cropped, I am curvy but not fat. And, it's a big, FAT, lie. A lie, that I bought into and I imagined to be true.
In the real world, the world where I actually use my toddler's hair ties to hold my too-tight jeans together, I am a size 10 and have exactly 3 pairs of pants that fit. I do not have a variety of filters or cropping mechanisms to make me look thinner. In real life, I eat my feelings and they end up on my thighs or mummy tummy. But, if I log onto my Facebook page, I can see a seemingly thinner woman, a woman who could be a size 6 (ok, 8, maybe). That edited version of myself is what made me fat as I looked to her for visual affirmation of my looks instead of looking in my own mirror. For every time I ate a second breakfast, or 2 cupcakes instead of none, I denied what was right in front me and chose to identify with the gal in Amaro, Valencia or Walden.
Perhaps I sound like a Biggest Loser contestant saying this, but I don't like what I see in the mirror; I only like what I see on Facebook.
It's time for a change. Please cue Helen Reddy. I am ready to roar and wear single digit sizes again!
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