I'm a Square

Humility is a not a quality that I possess. When I excel at something, I brag about it. Alot. With that in mind, please excuse my paragraph-long weight loss boast. I have lost 60 lbs in 7 months. That's right. 6-0. And, I want to crow about it to anyone and everyone who will listen- the CTA bus driver, the lady in front of me in the checkout line at Target, my beleaguered intern. I am no longer a fatty-bo-batty; I can reclaim my Former-Chubette status!

Sort of.

The only problem is, after 60 big ones, I still do NOT fit into most of my clothes. And, it is NOT FAIR. I was so sure that once I lost my baby weight and some change, I would slip into my favorite pair of skinny jeans just like old times.It makes sense that if you lose the lbs, you fit into your clothes. Except, in addition to losing 60lbs, I have lost my waist. It went away sometime at the beginning of 2011 during my 1st trimester and it refuses to return. I am so mad, I could devour an entire box of Little Debbie Easter Basket Cakes!

You know how Sir Mix-A-Lot said he liked  his women to be 36-24-36?  Well I only have 2 of those measurements,and in my case, 2 out of 3 means my skinny jeans will stay folded in my dresser.

This is more troubling to me than a math word problem. I knew my measurements would most likely change post-baby, but I thought that my hips would get bigger. And, I would have been fine with that! Truly! Big hips are womanly and very in-style (thank you, Kardashian sisters). My hips? Are exactly the same size they have been since 1997. My waist? Does not exist. I am a square. Like SpongeBob Square Pants or a Lego.

There's only one solution I can find. I must keep dieting. This sucks.

Filed under: Uncategorized


Leave a comment
  • lol I love your blogs! You are a great writer with humor. I love it. Your waist will shrink. It just takes time. =)

  • first off - congratulations! that's amazing

    try pilates or yoga to slim and tone your waist.

  • In reply to goofyjj:

    thanks for the tip!

  • Hi, Stephanie. Try "AM/PM Yoga for Weight Loss" by Suzanne Deason. You can find it at Gaiam.com or at Target.com. Good luck.

  • I think of it as the battle wound for the little human created.

  • In reply to Yoga Mom:

    so true!!!

Leave a comment