On every life a little rain must fall and for every project a few rejection letters land in our in-box. We've become quite the connoisseurs of a good rejection; why not put this experience to good use? Thus we present for your reading pleasure: "The Gentleman (and Ladies) Rejection Tasting Guide".
"Dear Gwydhar - Re: OFFICIAL FESTIVAL NOTIFICATION
Film title: Mattress World
Thank you for submitting to the 2011 [redacted] Film Festival. We received over 900 entries and regret to inform you that the above submission is not among the 240 films selected for screening. We received so many terrific films this season, it was a difficult decision.
If you have additional questions, please contact the Festival Registrar at [redacted]
Should you wish to enter next season, we will post our Call for Entry 2012 in January, 2012."*
A declarative, business-like rejection redolent of robusta coffee and tractor feed paper. Economical with a metallic hint of copper, this rejection is all about the numbers. It says "nothing personal" when it says nothing personal. Perhaps a bit meager in body, one can still catch residual hints of industrial power. Though prim on the finish, this is a rejection that smacks your wrist with a ruler and then shushes you severely and tells you to try again.
*For the privacy of the purveyors of this fine rejection-sampling all un-released proper names have been removed.