Year Of Me: Part 3- Regain Your Confidence

self-confidence-2076798_960_720Living a life stuck in a mindset that is clouded with many insecurities prevented me to live the life I knew I was capable of and that I knew I deserved. For a couple of years I felt like I wasn't where I thought I would be by my mid 20's. What I envisioned was shifted by the curve balls of life and directed me down an unexpected path. The self-doubt I had caused the flashing bright lights my eyes saw for so long turn into darkness. I wanted to take the Year of Me to regain my confidence. For me to do that, I needed to know what caused me to lose my confidence in the first place and take the steps to finding myself, courage and strength to being my glimmering Aubree again.

Removing Negativity
I was surrounding myself with people who did not lift me up or support me. All they did was bring stress and sadness into my life. I knew in order for me to find myself, I needed to let them go. The process with some was a bit harsh transition but for the most part it was a gentle transition.

What Do You Want Your Purpose To Be
Figuring out what my purpose was exciting to explore. I knew that I wanted to be impactful on others since I was a child. I remember when I was growing up, my parents always asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up? I told them that I wanted people to know my name and save lives. When we determine our purpose, that stays with us, even when times are rough and we feel meaningless. I had to remember that I am worth so much more than I thought and I am capable of doing anything that I want. Any obstacle that tries to stand in my way, my purpose is what I want it to be and I will achieve it.

Get Out There And Work It
Keeping up with a social life is hard and less of a priority once you become an adult. I wanted to really establish some roots here in Chicago after moving into the city from the suburbs 3 years ago. I adored and cherished the friendships I had from living back home but, the reality was that I was getting burnt out being in a one-sided friendship and making the trek to see them. Making new friends as an adult is frightening and nerve wrecking. I had to not be shy and put myself out there, network, enjoy life and have fun. I would not accomplish that if I was shy and held back.

I Love Me More
As cliché as it may sound, I had to learn to like myself. After bad breakups with ex boyfriends and friends I struggled with loving myself. A big part of regaining confidence and being positive was that I need to have self-love. I know I have a ton of great qualities and deserved nothing but respect. I always tried to please others, make them feel better when I in fact was the sad one and that rubbed off on them. I needed to first focus on making myself happy. I had to realize that my own perceived beauty was bringing me down. The outer beauty of me was not the most important thing when it came to knowing my worth. I felt that men didn’t want to date me and pretty girls didn’t want to be my friend because of how I looked. It took a lot of learning that beauty is not most important, character is what really counts. I needed to focus on being healthy physically, mentally and emotionally. This is the body I was given. I also remembered that what one person considers beautiful, others do not, and vice-versa.

Rebuilding my confidence and understanding myself was not easy , it required discipline and time. A little bit over a year actually. I wanted it bad enough that I took the steps to help me achieve the best version of me. I take pride in who I am and what I have to offer. The year of me has taught me a lot about myself. I am looking forward to 2018, all new relationships, achieving the personal goals I have set for myself, the surprises and continuing to move forward.

Aubree

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