Year Of Me: Part 1- The Uncomfortable & Unfamiliar

im-a-winnerA little over a year ago, I hit my breaking point and needed to stop focusing on being the best potential partner to men who didn't care about being the best for me. I have always been "dating" or "talking" to someone for as long as I can remember. I was very familiar and comfortable with having a companion. I was only focus on finding the right person instead of becoming the right person.  I took a vow to spend the next year focusing on me. Becoming the person I am looking for is looking for. I wanted to fall in love with Aubree. I did not want to date, interact romantically, be physical with any man for an entire year! (Yes! that means practicing celibacy)

I was dedicated to stepping into a new venture of The Year Of Me! I was nervous to step out of the familiar but excited to start examining myself and putting these new virtues into practice if I wanted to fulfill what the man I’m looking for is looking for also. I knew it was going to be a challenge but I was ready to just let God take me to the places beyond my imagination.  I’ll share with you what my journey of The Year of Me consisted of.

My faith has always been important to me. I never was vocal about that because I didn’t think I realized how important it was to me until I put it on the back burner when I was convincing myself that the atheist polyamorous man I was with could be the one. That relationship failed and then another started quickly after to that relationship failing as well, Until I met my Jesus Loving Hipster from Humboldt Park. Don’t get too excited. That relationship also failed sadly. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back breakup. It did however, bring to light that I wanted to be with someone who loved God before he could ever love me. Someone who wanted to live their lives in a way that would without a doubt be honoring God. I have become more involved in my local church over the past several months. Serving a few times a week. It has definitely been amazing and the relationships I have created have been a blessing.

I have always been a compassionate person. I believe that it is a quality that is very admirable. I want someone who is equally if not more very compassionate and kind. A man who knows how to treat people with an open and loving heart and turns everyone’s head when they walk into the room. This is a man who God is working through and it shows. People have always said that I am such a sweet, kind-hearted person. That is just who I am.

I began to stand up for what I believe in. Lead by example. I would want to be with a man who does that. In today’s day and age, it’s hard to be a Christian. There have been a handful of times where I allowed my friends to gossip about others or try to take the easy way and not work hard to get what they want. Myself and the man I grow old with we both need to value doing the right thing over doing what is easiest. Especially if we want to live out our Christ based life free of doubt. Being faithful doesn’t make me perfect but, it is making me stronger and leading by example to live a great faith filled life.

Being authentic is important. Staying honest, sincere, confident and genuine in who you are is something that I have worked on a lot over the past year. I feel like it makes me stand out from all the rest and a man who can do the same, who refuses to conform and confident in who he is will be my person. We will share the same qualities that we both are looking for. I have worked hard on being the person I want to be for the person who I want them to be.

By no means I am saying that my qualities should be your qualities. We all have a list of qualities that we have in mind for our perfect person. Some can be physical qualities like height, hair color, body type, race, etc. I try to remember that I should not fall for the face and the body of a man. I should fall for his spirit, heart and character.


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