Fancy Shmancy

Fancy Shmancy

Sure, your house is picturesque and perfect in every way.  Each room looks like a page out of one of the professional design magazines. 

That being said..

A home should be livable.  Sofas are meant to be sat on, not admired from from the next room.  If a pillow does not feel good when you place your face upon it, it is not a pillow, but a trinket. 

I once saw a woman lose her cool when the fringe on her area rug was stepped on and kicked out of place.  What is even worse is that she actually had a special comb to put it right back into place.  A rug fringe comb, go figure.

Kitchen counters should be used to prepare food, not as displays for a irreplaceable vintage plate collection.  Did I mention that you cannot eat off of these plates?  Absurd.  I also find it ironic that this kitchen was equipped with professional appliances that would be any home cook's dream, yet this homeowner did not cook.  In her words "The only thing I know how to make is a reservation."  giggle, giggle, GAG.

There was another occasion where my toddler child ate a grape from a fruit tray on a coffee table of another acquaintances home.  It was a plastic grape and she was disgusted that I had to dig it out of his mouth, wash it and place it back onto it's plastic grape stem.   Don't let the fact that my child could have choked phase you.  Like it was his fault, it is plastic fruit for Christ's sake!  Why not offer him a glass of acrylic water???  What ever happened to actual fruit on a fruit tray? 

I have put up with other people's strange home decor and accesorizing for years and usually just smile and say how beautiful things are.  I have to draw the line at the bathroom though. 

You all know exactly what I am talking about, the hand towels that are just for show.  The ones that have a ribbon placed just so and possibly a silk flower gracing the wired bow?  One of my kids used the bathroom at a friend's house once and she was MORTIFIED that he used one of her hand towels to...DRY...HIS...HANDS!  I kid you not, she assumed the squatted position to make eye contact with the poor child to explain that Auntie so-and-so's hand towels are not to be touched.  There was a roll of paper towel in the cabinet under the sink for drying your hands. 

The kid looked so confused.  He comes from a home where the lady in charge decorates under a strictly utilitarian code.  The handtowels are for drying hands, kitchen counters for preparing food and rugs are for walking on so that your feet arent cold.  The fruit tray has, ACTUAL FRUIT on it.  It is simply a bonus if things happen to look good as well. 

I think the people who put aesthetics and superficiality before their guest's comfort level are inadvertently speaking volumes about themselves. 

A house should be a home.  I'm using the decorative towels... just to spite you.   And get some real fruit, damn it.

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