House Arrest? Yes, Please.

House Arrest?  Yes, Please.

I truly believe that people should learn from their mistakes and the punishment should fit the crime.

That being said....

I read today that Lindsay Lohan, whom I affectionately call Lindsay No-plan, announced that the house arrest life is the life for her.  She has caught up on her TV shows, movies and even found time to tackle some interior decorating she hadn't had the time to get to before.  I guess lifting that necklace and driving drunk have paid off after all!  Way to find that silver lining.

Her new found lifestyle has got me thinking.

~ Double check to make sure E channel is still blocked via parental controls.

~My house could use some decorating.

~I want to be on house arrest!

Yes, that's right, I want to be on house arrest.  I can picture it now.  Calls from the family room of  "Mom, can you drive me to..." Quickly followed by my "NOPE, house arrest!" as I point in an overly animated fashion to my rockin' ankle device.

The husband calls in a dinner request and I reply "Sorry babe, house arrest, how about you grab some Chinese on the way home?  I'll have the Kung Pao chicken.  Don't forget the fortune cookies this time."

The volunteer nazi-mom stops by because she wonders where my teacher appreciation donation cookies are and why I did not make it to the class presentation on the history of earthworms and I cheerily cabbage patch dance my way down to expose my anklet extraordinaire.

Now, Lindsay says she does miss things she cannot do like walking in the neighborhood (like she did that one time when she forgot where she lived), going shopping (ie shoplifting) and dining out.

I have a treadmill, which I believe is still in the basement, that I can use for excercise.  Screw the neighborood walks.  Shopping?  Isn't that what amazon is for?  Dining out, well, take out will do just fine.  Really, in today's world, house arrest wouldn't be all that bad.  You can pretty much get anything you need delivered right to your door.

Now I just have to devise a plan to get the coveted anklet.  I have a feeling that if I stole an expensive necklace and drove drunk that the lawyers I could afford would not score the same deal Lindsay's did.

Any ideas?  This stay-at-home mom wants to take her title literally for once.  Those Hollywood types catch all of the breaks.


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  • OMG!!!!!!!!!! I am dying laughing right now!!! BRAVO B!

  • In reply to wutusaygoes:

    Thanks!! So glad you like it!

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