A couple of days ago I had the pleasure of celebrating, along with nine other women, the closure of a program that - like everything in life if we open our arms to receive the best of it - came at the right time: it was about eleven modules focused on forgiveness and reconciliation.
It would be pretentious and even implausible from me, to aspire with these lines to teach the newly learned and show me as someone who controls the topic. I will only refer as a tribute - both for its transcendent content as for the one who guided us selflessly and lovingly during these unforgettable weeks - to share what I understood, little or much, with love to those who want to read me.
Even though almost all of us know this from our childhood, it's worth bringing it to the most recent memory: forgiveness is a spiritual medicine; it’s a healing of many ailments and even prevents diseases considered severe and incurable. It's like a beacon of light that guides us all to a life of peace, as it allows us to be freed from our own shackles: anger, hatred, resentment, etc..
The lack of forgiveness forces us to inhabit in the past, inhibiting us to live in the present and making impossible to build the future.
Feeling sporadically angry is natural; it is an emotion, even healthy and necessary, of a short durability because once expressed, it is completely dissipated. However, when someone harms our physical, moral or spiritual integrity (what we commonly call OFFENSE) a part of us becomes sometimes so hurt, it might seem that the one we called offender, had desecrated our inner depths , and it is when RESENTMENT (feeling again and again) becomes an easy and very harmful trap where we can fall in and that is just the oozing from a badly healed wound that keeps us in a state (conscious or unconscious) of irritation that demands a lot of energy and moreover, generates useless burning out, keeping us tired and in a constant stress.
In order to "cure" the resentment, we’ve mistakenly believed that by making the offender to pay (REVENGE), this will be achieved, but we must know that in the dance of vengeance, more than leading, we are led.
Forgiveness, by the way (and opposed to the idea that I had), is not forgetting. Forgiveness does not produce amnesia and does intend to do so, besides, it does not relieve the offender ... but pleasantly liberates the offended. It is very likely we will always continue aware of the damage done, but without permitting that it affects our lives anymore.
When we choose to forgive, it is not necessarily because we will physically reconcile with the one we’ve forgiven. It may or may not happen and sometimes we do not even need to communicate it, because it is an internal action, a personal one.
And since we’ve been sailing through the seas of forgiveness, I wouldn’t be a bad idea to consider that, in the same way we have been offended, we were offenders, because making mistakes is part of our human condition, so maybe we could find out, in our internal dialogue, if we have out there, one or more apologies to express.
To finish these lines, I invite all - with love and absolute respect - to the practice of the exquisite, hearty, nutritious and rewarding FORGIVENESS, doing today, from our offender, a simply one more fellow..
With this "accidental" course that crossed on my way, I have just strengthened my concept and expanded my horizons, because I recognize that FORGIVENESS is freeing a prisoner ... MYSELF.
My big hug.
“Do you want to be happy for a moment? Then seek revenge.
Do you want to be happy forever? Then grant forgiveness.” —