Forgiveness: infallible medicine

Forgiveness: infallible medicine

A couple of days ago I had the pleasure of celebrating, along with nine other women, the closure of a program that - like everything in life if we open our arms to receive the best of it - came at the right time: it was about eleven modules focused on forgiveness and reconciliation.

It would be pretentious and even implausible from me, to aspire with these lines to teach the newly learned and show me as someone who controls the topic. I will only refer as a tribute - both for its transcendent content as for the one who guided us selflessly and lovingly during these unforgettable weeks - to share what I understood, little or much, with love to those who want to read me.

Even though almost all of us know this from our childhood, it's worth bringing it to the most recent memory: forgiveness is a spiritual medicine; it’s a healing of many ailments and even prevents diseases considered severe and incurable. It's like a beacon of light that guides us all to a life of peace, as it allows us to be freed from our own shackles: anger, hatred, resentment, etc..

The lack of forgiveness forces us to inhabit in the past, inhibiting us to live in the present and making impossible to build the future.

Feeling sporadically angry is natural; it is an emotion, even healthy and necessary, of a short durability because once expressed, it is completely dissipated. However, when someone harms our physical, moral or spiritual integrity (what we commonly call OFFENSE) a part of us becomes sometimes so hurt, it might seem that the one we called offender, had desecrated our inner depths , and it is when RESENTMENT (feeling again and again) becomes an easy and very harmful trap where we can fall in and that is just the oozing from a badly healed wound that keeps us in a state (conscious or unconscious)  of irritation that  demands a lot of energy and moreover, generates useless burning out,  keeping us tired and in a constant stress.

In order to "cure" the resentment, we’ve mistakenly believed that by making the offender to pay (REVENGE), this will be achieved, but we must know that in the dance of vengeance, more than leading, we are led.

Forgiveness, by the way (and opposed to the idea that I had), is not forgetting. Forgiveness does not produce amnesia and does intend to do so, besides, it does not relieve the offender ... but pleasantly liberates the offended. It is very likely we will always continue aware of the damage done, but without permitting that it affects our lives anymore.

When we choose to forgive, it is not necessarily because we will physically reconcile with the one we’ve forgiven. It may or may not happen and sometimes we do not even need to communicate it, because it is an internal action, a personal one.

And since we’ve been sailing through the seas of forgiveness, I wouldn’t be a bad idea to consider that, in the same way we have been offended, we were offenders, because making mistakes is part of our human condition, so maybe we could find out, in our internal dialogue, if we have out there, one or more apologies to express.

To finish these lines, I invite all -  with love and absolute respect - to the practice of the exquisite, hearty, nutritious and rewarding FORGIVENESS, doing today, from our offender, a simply one more fellow..

With this "accidental" course that crossed on my way,  I have just strengthened my concept and expanded my horizons, because I recognize that FORGIVENESS is freeing a prisoner ... MYSELF.

My big hug.

“Do you want to be happy for a moment? Then seek revenge.

Do you want to be happy forever? Then grant forgiveness.” —

 Henri LaCordaire

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    There is so much we can all learn about forgiveness, and so little we have achieved because we have not been capable of understanding the basic concept you share with us here, Mone. Thank you for giving us a true "Pearl of Wisdom"... Now it is up to us to really adopt it and put it in practice to be healthy and happy AT ALL TIMES (or at least most of the time)

  • In reply to Viviana Alvarez:

    My dear Viv,
    As you know, I haven't discovered the hot water. Forgiveness is what it is, ... the problem lies in not wanting to use is as the drug substance for the soul and the body. Thank you for being here, sharing this adventure with me. Hugs to Paris !
    When will I read your next blog ?

  • Great topic
    Such a powerful tool , however sometimes so difficult to grant ...to ourselves !!
    Let's give this precious gift of forgiveness to others and feel the burden of revenge fly away, but also remember that we need to forgive ourselves first to become truly free !

    See you in the next fairway....

  • In reply to Titleist:

    Dear Titleist:
    I think you've just touched the crucial point: forgive ourselves (of course, trying not to hurt us anymore) is the principle of all, as this would give us the right to forgive others ... and apologize to others, too.
    Thank you and enjoy the fairway, wherever you are playing now.

  • Forgiveness is a cultural aspect and therefore has many forms.

    Among the Jewish customs, one of the very healthy ones is the yearly "Day of Atonement". Along the 24 hours that run from the fall of night on the eve of Yom Kippur till the next fall of night, there is fasting and praying and, while meeting with your fellows in the community, a lot of forgiveness goes around.
    To atone, and to be forgiven according to the Jewish customs, you need to comply with three conditions:
    1.- Repair the damage you caused
    2.- Ask for forgiveness (and therefore recognize that you wronged the other person).
    3.- Never repeat the same offense.

    Christians and Catholics, every Sunday, give each other a handshake and "give each other peace". Though it is not expressly said, a lot of this has to do with the concept of regaining peace in our relations with our fellows and there is forgiveness there.

    Muslims greet each other with a Salla'am Alekhum! (May Peace be with you) and say good bye with Alekhum Salla'am (And with you, Peace).
    Again, the concept of freeing ourselves and the others of any ballast to let them search for peace.

    It is the current man (and woman) that has been swept into modernity the one that, usually, looses sight of these simple habits and precepts.
    So, we have courses, and self-help, and coaching, and marketing of all sorts of wonderful ideas, Tapes, CD's and Books that will make any one that hears, sees, or reads them a "new person".

    That is all good and well, but; part of the trick of searching properly for the meaning of life is realizing that happiness is neither a stage in our life, nor a state of mind.

    It is an attitude.

    And part of that attitude is forgiving: your own self, and the others.

    Because we are ALL human.

    Besos!

    Héctor

  • Dear Hector,

    Amazing comment !. Thanks for the very interesting inputs, (cultural, ethnic, religious ) you've kindly shared. I take note of this for my own cultural heritage ... and let me say, in conclusion, that the road, medium or ritual utilized, is absolutely valid as we allow ourslves, the forgiveness ( I insist, not forget ) , since it feels so good... soul, mind and body appreciate it very much.
    And yes, I agree about happiness. Thanks for bringing it back !
    Abrazos de vuelta,
    Mone

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