We often say that pure friendship is unconditional, excludes judgments and can prevail throughout time. We think of it inherently to the concepts of trust, honesty, complicity, acceptance of virtues and weaknesses, ability to listen, etc. We visualize it as an unparalleled understanding where words are unnecessary and ponder it as the ability to share each other's joys, sorrows, tears, etc.
Taking the opportunity that gives me the freedom of my pen, I would then ask a rhetorical question. : why do friendships end ? I know that I may get an avalanche of responses and most of them would focus their arguments on the betrayal, deceit, deception, envy, lies, the sudden change of personality or boredom, to name a few ... and I refuse to accept most of them as the root cause of the fraternal extinction.
I believe that what really vanishes is simply a mirage, a mere outbreak (of both parties) of friendship, not so, a dignified and pure manifestation of it. I'm almost sure than in most cases there is no harmful plan from either party, but simply an inevitable outburst of the truth, the nakedness of our being or, what we call daily, essence … or also, why not? a bad streak that makes our soul unpleasant to the ones closer to us.
In my opinion, friendship itself is conditional and I see nothing wrong about it, as long as this category does not involve economic, physical or social aspects. I think we all invariably want to be close to those that make us feel well, simply well. If, however, someone disturbs our peace, annoys our harmony or affects our positive emotions, the deal is not attractive anymore and the share price starts to fall. This may be temporary or sometimes permanent, but as it happens, the healthy solution is to get away without remorse or anguish, but also with discretion and without sharing the reasons with third parties, to eliminate the problem with wisdom.
As a finish line, I can only say that today, at 38 years of age, my skin may not be the same, but at the same time, my entry filter to friends has changed, commanding quality above quantity and I’ve learned to differentiate that the most attractive soul in a party, is not necessarily the one that brings the most to me. I care about many, but I love a few... a few conditional friends.
My weekly hug.