What melanoma took from me this month

IMG_0749I'm betting that many of you have seen this picture. It's a great reminder of what cancer really CANNOT do. But as I learned earlier this month, there are times as a cancer patient that we're not in control.  Melanoma sucks. We all know it. And right up until the moment that my newest grand baby was born last Friday, this entire month sucked!

I was planning on my 4th brain surgery in just over a year to take place on June 3rd. Long story short, the stupid tumor decided to start bleeding into my brain on June 1. Heck of a way to get moved up on the Chief Neurosurgeon's schedule real quick. I learned a lot about pain that night I'll tell ya. By the time they got me into surgery the next morning I was begging them to knock me out. Other than that, I don't remember much about that night except that it was awful. I don't remember telling my husband I loved him before they took me to surgery (he told me I did tell him exactly that), and I didn't get to tell my daughters or the rest of my family either. And that, quite honestly, scares the hell out of me.

And while, as a cancer patient, I am keenly aware that it's not wise to leave things unsaid...I did just that. I wasn't in control. The stupid bleeding tumor was. I can't even allow myself to think about the "what ifs" of that night. I'm here to tell you that there will be no doubt in the minds of those I love that I love them. Never. I hope you'll make sure that the people you love know it too.

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Filed under: Melanoma

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