'Twas the night before Armageddon, when all through the shelter,
Not a person was moving, only all feeling a swelter,
The canned foods and dried fruit sat quietly in the 3,000 sq. ft. pantry,
And radioactive jumpsuits waiting by the readied gantry.
The paranoid sat, snug in their folding chairs,
With images of blazing asteroids through the atmosphere it sears,
And Cynic and I stare at their steel door, tucked by the knoll,
We figured, hell, if we have 10 minutes, let's smoke a bowl.
When up the sky, there rose such a clatter,
We sprang from our high to see what was the matter,
Away from the ground, we looked up to see the flash,
An airplane flying over, made me look for more hash.
As our clocks rolled on, hitting midnight,
All was fine, Cynic and I were high as a kite.
The paranoid unlatched their giant steel door,
Waiting, wondering if there'd be more.
On Satan, Lucifer, Devil and his Crew,
Or perhaps the closing planet of Nibiru,
Beelzebub, Loki, Azazel, or others of Enoch?
Come on, man, but the Mayan Calendar story was such a lock!
And so the world sees December 21st come and go,
Everyone still kicks, even your average Joe.
And for all the fools who spent fortunes on prep,
Looking like nothing more than a high-class schlep.
So, we say to all nerds, ones probably without a wife,
Merry Armageddon to all! And to all a great life!
This poem was inspired by the hundreds of books, several TV shows, couple video games, and couple of feature films that cashed in on the 2012 phenomenon. I admire the opportunistic approach. Now that December 21, 2012 is over and nothing has happened, (Literally nothing. Oh, that horrible snowstorm though!) we can focus on the next popularized Doomsday Theory - The Fifth Element. What a film! A true prophecy!
Merry Christmas to all!