2012: The Year of the Awkward

Christmas has come and passed, bringing forth a week of excitement toward the new year, 2013.  Christmas is a time for family and reflection.  Reflect on self, reflect on the past, present, and future.  Plenty of individuals use the new year to make amends, to rid bad habits, develop good habits, reach for self-made promises, and make out with someone at midnight.  Perhaps it is a new year to forget the previous year...to erase the mistakes with hopes of correcting our faults and becoming better persons every day.  But one thing is certain: we cannot forget the past, for it is in our blood and part of our lives and history, which shaped us.

Life is full of these moments.  Proud moments, wretched moments, awkward moments.  Here is a review of some of the awkward things of 2012, and man, was it an awkward year!

 

Whitney Houston dies (February 11, 2012):

Like Michael Jackson, the world didn't really care about this person and developed an immunity to the skeletons in these irrelevant stars's closets (Michael Jackson's child molestation accusations; Whitney Houston's battle with cocaine; Chris Tucker's inability to be funny; Nick Cage's inability to act).  Once these stars passed on, such as Michael Jackson in 2009, the world started to care and apathy morphed into sympathy and sorrow.  Whitney Houston died on February 11, 2012 from an "accidental drowning," or drug overdose if you hate euphemisms.  This is another awkward episode of caring for the irrelevant when it's too late.  Michael Jackson knows this too well...

Leap Year (February 29, 2012):

Ugh, these are the worst.  We love adding a day every four years to balance out the our calendar with the astronomical calendar.  These scientists could be feeding us a bunch of bologne, but we eat it up anyway.  Why?  Probably because every four years it is fun to think about children born on Leap Day and how young they must be.  Oh, is that just me?  Awkward.

Facebook IPO (May 18, 2012):

The world's most popular social networking site went financially public, leaving investors and traders wondering, "What is this worth?"  The Facebook IPO was $38 per share.  Several lawsuits were filed against Facebook and its underwriters following the IPO.  Wait, you're telling me someone tried to profit off of Facebook's IPO?  No, not possible.  Not in this world.  Today (December 26, 2012), Facebook's stock is valued at approximately $26.75 per share.

London Summer Olympiad (Summer 2012):

The awkwardness associated with the Olympic games is centered around artificial patriotism displayed by Americans across the nation.  Sure, several sincere Red, White, & Blue Blowhards avidly watch every event and proclaim prominence in the face of a gold medal, but what about the other 95% of America (statistic not backed by anything but author's opinion)?  For 3 years and 11 months, I do not watch swimming, pole-vaulting, or archery (among many others).  I'm not going to watch the athletes at the Olympiad.  I'm all for America, but these Olympic events leave me in a very awkward state - not caring about our nation's finest track stars, and defending myself against fellow patriots in a race to who's the better Olympiad fan.  I lose, and that's fine by me.

Presidential Election

Unless you decided to move to the Nepalese Himalayas this past year, the United States Presidential Election dominated headlines and ad space throughout the fall of 2012 (Obama vs. Romney - I know primaries exist, but far less exciting and weird).  Here is what was awkward to me - the attack ads.  These two gentlemen sparred via social media, traditional media, speaking engagements, and political rallies in a relentless fashion, each ad more vehemently malicious than the last.  Neither candidate sat innocent.  And with that, I wondered what those handshakes at the debate were like?  "Mr. President, sorry about calling you an Allah-worshipping Muslim with eyes to destroy America, but let's have a fun debate!  Oh, and sorry for portraying Michelle as a jealous, devious whore.  Good luck!"  "Mr. Governor, I want you to know that I absolutely enjoyed my ad people rip you down to that money-loving, middle-income family-hating, crazy ass Mormon we all think you are, but can't come out and say.  I look forward to acting more 'black' at this debate.  You aren't going to push me around again, Mitt-baby."  Politics...what fun!

The End that never happened, December 21st, 2012

Well, that was lame.  After all the books, movies, television series, and captured excitement, the Mayans were actually wrong.  This concludes one thing:  People in this world are f-ing crazy and have vivid imaginations to go along with their massive egos (every generation thinks their generation will experience the End of The World).  People bought and prepared bunkers.  There was an entire series dedicated to these maniacs!  Sure, they are waiting for the nuclear war or some sort of Red Dawn invasion, but December 21st came and went without anything but a little bit of snow.  It was very awkward to read the news feeds from around the world: "World has not ended in Sydney, Australia...Rome, Italy...London, England...New York, NY, USA..."  What did you expect? Can we all take a lesson from this?  We are crazier than we give ourselves credit, and we need to STOP buying into these "signs, theories, omens, prophecies, phenomena's?"

 

Well, readers, it isn't a complete list, but it's a fun list!  Not everything is "oh my god, super awkward," but we noticed the funny lives we live in this funny little blue world we live in.  I hope and pray that 2013 will bring on more interesting headlines and crazy happenings (obviously it will!).  Happy New Year!

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  • Somehow, the people of Illinois avoided #5 (actually I know how, and that was awkward), but we got the lame congressional attack ads. But not against the most awkward candidate.

    As far as #6, whatever surviving Mayans exist are dumping habanero peppers down Rick Bayliss's gullet. What was more embarrassing was the fool who, each time the world didn't end as he predicted, said he miscalculated and the end would be the next month, which it wasn't. As Craig Ferguson points out (with his awkward sidekicks), "tomorrow is just your future yesterday."

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