The awkward little things

Brain Farts

Forgetting a belt.  Or missing a loop.

Not zipping up the zipper post-bathroom activities.

Not having money for a cab (and convincing the cabbie you love Muslims and would never try this).

Forgot a button on the shirt (or blouse - not that we mind about the blouse).

Coffee spill from tipping the cup too early.  Swing and a miss.

Can't Help Yourself

Picking your nose.

Singing a song alone...then someone shows up mid-verse.

Caught staring at a beautiful person.

Cleavage.  See above.

Sneeze on a person (or in a person's food).

Take a phone call into a crowded elevator.  We hate you.

It's Not Your Fault, Will Hunting

Unfinished food in your teeth.

Going to the bathroom while on a date (or the impending flatulent).

Why do your armpits decide to sweat to the 10th power while on a date?

A glaring pimple or whitehead.

Trying to communicate with a loud voice at a bar.  Then the music stops while you're blurting out, "she couldn't get my pants off!"

Chicago Centric

Cubs hat worn at a Sox game (and vice versa).

Last seat on the El is next to the homeless guy.  And he smells...

Screaming your head off (vulgarities included) at a Bears game, only to realize there is a 6 year old kid in front of you.  Judging you.

Using the CTA bus as a mirror to check your hair.  The passengers staring at you in disgust.

Critical Mass passes on the upcoming street...can't I just blow through them all?  This is a personal thought - I can't stand your little "ride" for your right to assemble.  How about my right to drive on a street not congested with annoying people?  Stop it!

 

I urge all readers to add to the list of the awkward little things...too many come up in our crazy lives!

 

 

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  • Relayed from a friend:

    Getting caught doing a cock/balls adjustment
    Getting caught not washing your hands after using the bathroom
    Getting caught checking facebook on your smartphone while peeing

    Gotta love my unfiltered friend, Scott. I do!

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