If you are one of the eight people (my mother and wife included) that reads my blog, you'll probably predict a satirical entry given the headline. Ding, ding, ding!
As the news unfolds in the "Ricketts vs. Ricketts" debacle surrounding the family's hypocrisy, I notice a more thrilling problem. An awkward problem. Perhaps, an issue that will hit home with the ChicagoNow.com Chicagoans: Julian Green, Vice President of Communication and Community Affairs for the Chicago Cubs.
If you are not aware, Julian Green is the former Press Secretary for then-U.S. Senator Barack Obama (Obama is the President of the United States now). Mr. Green was hired by the Chicago Cubs 9 months ago. Reading between the lines and given the political connections, the Ricketts and the Cubs brought Mr. Green in to facilitate the club's request for hundreds of millions of tax dollars to renovate the Aging Shrine of Losing on Chicago's North Side. Okay, no problem. Good move, right?
On May 17, the New York Times published an article (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/17/us/politics/gop-super-pac-weighs-hard-line-attack-on-obama.html) linking Joe Ricketts (patriarch and now obvious first-class bonehead) to an advertising campaign, to which he would fund $10 million, titled "The Defeat of Barack Hussein Obama: The Ricketts Plan to End His Spending for Good." Now, I'm not an intelligent man, but I'm sure they weren't including "Hussein" for clarity's sake.
Fast forward through everyone yelling at everyone and political leaders are tossing hot garbage explanations at the media. Rahm's mad, the Ricketts are denying everything and Obama will sift through the crap emerging like a golden god as long as he avoids the slinging.
Caught in the middle of this poop-slinging, rich-people-staying-rich scheme is Julian Green. If you'll indulge me, I've mocked Mr. Green's conversation with his boss, Tom Ricketts, after the NY Times story broke. Man, it was probably more awkward than this:
Green: "Hey, Tom. I just read the New York Times, what is that about?"
T. Ricketts: "Oh, um, that's nothing. They just called it the Rickett's Plan since we have a big name. Isn't Theo turning this club around? Can't wait to see us in a couple of years!"
Green: "But the president of super PAC confirmed you're dad's commitment to end my old boss's career. He wouldn't lie about that. Is that what your 'super-secret players meeting' without Theo was about?"
T. Ricketts: "Julian, that is silliness. My dad just has a lot of money, so people throw him proposals all the time. He deals with plenty of things he doesn't want to commit to, like my sister's gay marriage club. People always asking for a handout. On a different note, can you get Rahm on the phone?"
Green: "I feel used."
T. Ricketts: "Oh, J-Dog, you know you are my man, home-slice! You are going to be very important to the Ricketts family and the Cubs organization for years. Up top!"
Green: "I quit."
T. Ricketts: "But the plan told us to get an extremely articulate conservative black man. Aren't those hard to come by?"
Green slugs Tom in the face. The world rejoices.
Hopefully the result of the mocked conversation occurred. I'm not sure how Julian Green would be interested in working for a family who used him for his political connections, muddied waters on the local level and begged for millions public money to renovate Wrigley Field while financing a campaign to stop public funding.
Get the hundreds of millions, finance a campaign for $10 million dollars - get your cake and eat it too. Until the New York Times story breaks. Classic.