Awkward Word Vomit - Political Edition

Welcome to another (or new) edition of Awkward Word Vomit. This is basically a stream of consciousness blog written under the heavy influence of some substance that may or may not be illegal. I’d rather you not ask nor would I like you to investigate the causation of the following ramblings. So, I’ve decided to... Read more »

The Lost Art of Reading

On a plane ride from Portland, OR to Chicago yesterday afternoon, I had conducted myself in a manner I haven’t in ages, if ever. At PDX (that’s fancy airliner code for Portland’s international airport), I purchased a book - Gumption: Relighting the Torch of Freedom with America’s Gutsiest Troublemakers by Nick Offerman of Parks & Recreation fame... Read more »

A Truly Novel Effort at Awkwardness

I wrote a book. A novel, in fact. 65,000 of the best words I had in me. One would think (given my history on this blog) I simply regurgitated those words in arbitrary fashion onto the page like a drunken frat fool, but I promise that wasn’t the case. Truth is – I poured heart... Read more »
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Aaron Kromer's Awkward Apology - A Parody Tale

The Bears offense waited in the meeting room impatiently as Aaron Kromer, Offensive Coordinator for the Chicago Bears, asked them to convene for five minutes, apparently in a very sobering manner. When their offensive leader entered the room, he’d looked like his grandmother just passed, or his favorite Golden Girl suffered a heart attack (pick... Read more »

Active Awkward Mind - Quick Hits 1

Life supplies plenty of moments to stop and ask questions, or perhaps make a statement. Why this or why that? How this or how that? Here, since you’ve asked, are mine: -  Why isn’t a universal rule to wait until the entire elevator cab has dispensed its occupants prior to entry? - Do doctors get... Read more »

Dynamite Drop In, Al

Al Sharpton is perpetuating a problem, and he doesn’t give a damn. If you could indulge me and watch this short video: http://news.yahoo.com/no-indictment-chaos-fills-ferguson-streets-083434303.html What the hell is he talking about? After watching that video, I’m sure you’re asking yourself the same question I asked, “what the hell is he talking about?” This blabbering non-sense from a... Read more »
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Misguided Passion Starts Fires - A Ferguson Reflection

“It is not who is right, but what is right, that is of importance.” - Thomas Huxley I have this quote on a post-it, hovering at my desk, just above my computer screen. I don’t read it everyday, and I’m not about to engage in a sanctimonious diatribe pointed at Ferguson Extremists and insane rioters/protestors... Read more »

School Refusal (awkward) Disorder - WHAT??

For reference: http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/school-refusal I came across an ad for school refusal and did more research to make sure I wasn’t taking crazy pills this morning in lieu of coffee and a muffin… A child can suffer from school refusal. There isn’t much explanation for this “disorder.” It’s a self-explanatory “condition” whereas a child will suffer... Read more »

Universality of bathroom awkwardness

Disclaimer: This will be the most unpleasant “Tales of Awkward” post to date. For those with weak stomachs, do not proceed. For those brave enough to run into the stinky rabbit hole of filth (and relate to the awkward occurrences, of course!), grab a toilet paper suit and jump in! Hand sanitizer will not be provided... Read more »
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Awkward reality of fallen movie "stars"

Add Philip Seymour Hoffman to list of celebrities who have died from drug-related incidents. Add to the list of incredible talents perished too soon. Most importantly – Add him to the list of people you should never revere just because they play pretend on a big screen. I loved Hoffman’s work. I thought he brought a... Read more »